The Republican National Committee announced today that it is changing the Republican emblem from an elephant to a condom because it more clearly reflects the party’s political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

And, furthermore, it was reported today that at a White House staff meeting last week there was a heated discussion about the health of Vice President Cheney and his angina problem. President Bush interrupted and stated emphatically that “Men do not have anginas.” The President was especially perplexed when a staffer said that Cheney has “acute angina.”

I just did a check on this sites web usage report. I was most interested in the search strings that people typed in various search engines that brought them to this site. Sans any jokes, I’m just going to give you the top 20 list. This is completely legit. These are the top 20 search strings. Draw your own conclusions.

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“Melissa Etheridge is gay?!”

The future of SUV’s has finally become the present. May I present you with the next wave in gas-guzzling, road-hogging, ridiculously huge SUV’s.

This site is chock-full of reasons why SUV’s are stupid, stupid choices for vehicles. I’m glad to see that my owning a Ford Explorer is acceptable because I actually pull a horse trailer with it. I wouldn’t want to end up in their gallery of shame, now would I.

On the other hand, it is nice to see some soccer mom (with 4 screaming children bouncing around her Expedition while she chats to some other clueless Yuppie bimbo on a cell phone and inhales a cheeseburger, which she’ll later have sucked off her thighs in liposuction, and changes the radio station) when I drive by, giving her the finger and telling her to (and here’s where she reads my lips) “Get the Fuck Out of My Way!” as she cringes in horror that someone thinks she might not have been perfect for even the slightest moment.