This is the last time I let Taranis talk me into anything. This hurt all damn week. BTW, nice driving cosbysweater.

I’m sure that we’ve all been following the Jenna Bush alcohol story, but there’s another side to this coin. Some guy is sleeping with her and we all know it. I saw a movie about college once and it taught me that all girls in college are “easy.” So, I’m thinking, when will this guy come forward? I would be singing that sordid story from the top of Everest for all to hear. “Yes, thank you Inside Edition for the $50,000 to tell my story. Thanks again, Today show for flying me to New York so I could describe my drunken fumblings with the First Daughter.” You know the guy is out there and I’d like to shake his hand.

In related news, Jenna Bush got a DUI while crashing into a lightpole at the intersection of Grinn and Barret drives in West Chester, Ohio. At least that’s what State Farm would like to have happen as they release the five funniest intersections list. I think it would be even funnier if one of their “funny” intersections were also one of the most dangerous. That way you could laugh at the corner of Ho and Hum streets right before you get your skull cracked by some zit-faced 16-year old driving his mom’s Volvo Cross Country on the way to his job at the Gap.

This video brought a smile to my face and several co-workers over to my office to see what I was laughing at. It’s best if you watch it 4 or 5 times to catch all the detail.

Watch it.

I’m not sure if my favorite part is where the lady says “herppffh” as she passes out, or when you see her hit the floor in the background. Or maybe when her co-workers sit there like deer in headlights. Or maybe the set falling down about her… not sure, maybe I’ll watch a few more times…

Yeah, I think it’s the “herpfff” noise that cracks me up the most.

The Associated Press reports that Playboy is buying three hard-core pornography networks for cable television. Christie Hefner, Playboy’s chief executive and daughter of Hugh, told investors that the purchase would allow the company to serve a growing demand for more explicit erotic programming. Translation: There are tons of horny people who’ll pay a lot more for hardcore than they will for the crap we currently show.

A New Jersey native recently led a one-man rally in support of racial profiling. Richard Barrett, leader of the Mississippi-based Nationalist Movement, marched around the county courthouse and made a speech to no one. The rally did, however, bring out 300 to 400 people against racial profiling and 350 police officers to ensure peace. Translation: This idiot cost New Jersey about $30,000 and you about 3 seconds of your life. Mud-hole stomping is encouraged.