An independent expert believes the Cessna that crashed last week, killing R&B sensation Aaliyah and eight others, was overloaded. Bahamian aviation officials recently estimated the weight of the plane at 5,495 pounds — not including the nine adults on board.

The maximum authorized takeoff weight for that type of plane is 6,300 pounds. Since the plane and its seats account for at least 4,100 pounds, fuel, luggage, and passengers can only weigh an additional 2,200 pounds. Estimates say the plane was carrying 804 pounds of fuel and 574 pounds(!) of baggage. That leaves 800 pounds—for nine adults …

Nikolay Soltys, suspect in the killings of his wife, son, and four other family memebers, has been captured by police. Two teams of officers converged on his mother’s back yard and found Nikolay Soltys hiding under a desk.

“As he heard us, he sprang to up and appeared he was going to run, but an inoperable refrigerator was blocking his way,” Officer Joachim said.

So, here’s the score. Soltys is an Ukrainian immigrant who was found outside his mother’s home hiding under as desk, but was blocked by an inoperalbe refrigerator when he tried to flee. Yes folks, I guess you can migrate to America and fulfill your dreams of becoming white trash.

I’ll say this as succinctly and clearly as I can. I hate TRL and pretty much everything MTV does. So, I was glad when my boy over at Public Realm peeped me to a Salon article giving an inside look at TRL. This article, thought it tries to tell me that what TRL is doing is ok, only stands to solidify both my hatred and disgust when it comes to most everything MTV produces.

The sheer fact that not only is the entire show fake and scripted from beginning to end, but it encourages young people to become whores for a little “TV time.” Our culture, replete with enough “reality” shows to kill a man, is encouraging the disintegration of principles and morals and even the fading away of individual personality by creating this image that everyone needs to be and can be “famous.” No longer are people bouyed up by their merits and accomplishments, but instead success has succumbed to the principle of dumb luck.

This even applies in the more “serious” business world where 2 years ago Internet dot-com’s where exploding and making money at a ridiculous rate on the stock market. IPO’s had become a lottery for the richest of the rich and all you needed was the precious stock options. Everyone wanted a piece of that pie, and they were, of course, willing to trade some part or all of their dignity to get it. And then it all fell apart.

I’m sure this will happen to the “reality” TV craze and the teen-pop craze and all the other “crazes” that have come before and that will come after. It is the nature of our society not to celebrate the success of some new thing but to rape it and pillage it and mine it for all the substance it may have ever held, until we turn it into a husk of its former self.

It’s a wonder then that we find both of these strains tied up in the downfall of one man: William Shatner.

That’s all from the bunker, 60 floors below sea level. Until next time.

A Seattle woman pulled a Peter Pan off a 160-ft bridge after peer pressure became too much for her to handle. Officials say that as the woman stood on the southbound side of a bridge over the Ship Canal, passing motorists encouraged her to take the Nestea plunge. And at approximately 10 a.m., she pulled off a spectacular cannonball. The woman later said, “I couldn’t have done it without the help of so many nice people.”

Once in awhile the perfect opportunity presents itself to have fun at someone else’s expense. Last night, that opportunity landed right in my lap. I give my word this is 100% true. I was still at work when I received an icq from a random person in Brazil who could barely speak English. It turns out Bruno is thinking of moving to the good ole US of A and did a random search and found me. Yes, I hate to say it, but last night I was the United States’s sole representative to a citizen in Brazil. Yes, an ass like me. If you’ve been reading this site long then you would know anyone else in the country, even most pets, would make a better representative than me. As I said, I was still at work at 10:30pm last night when the first ICQ came in. By that time I had been working 14 hours and was giddy with humor. Our lead programmer was next to my desk and he was goading me on.

Without further adieu…

Bruno

How are you mark? I am from Brazil, you can speak me?

Jetteva

I’m in and out. Still at work… but what’s up?

CLOSS

Jetteva I dont speak english how make for speak wiht you ?

Note: once I saw this, I figured it was time to fuck with the poor bastard. With a co-worker prodding me on…

Jetteva

beer, sex, sports, Bruno?

Note: that is from this TV commercial.

Bruno

beer????

Jetteva

I’m so’ry, Bruno. ah’ wuz rapin’ about some commercial ah’ found funny. Slap mah fro! ah’ dought ya’ would find it funny too. ‘S coo’, bro.

Note: I ripped that from the Dialectizer.

If you want to see more, click the link below. Bruno

I’m so’ry, you speak espanish?????

Jetteva

Sorry again. I ICQ a bunch of people and sometimes I

get their messages crossed. You not good at speaking

english?

Bruno

Yes, more less!!!

Jetteva

I’m into field hockey, big time Bruno. You like field hockey?

Bruno

Yes, I do,I d like Pink floid and other

Jetteva

Field Hockey has some wild music. I’ve seen them in concert. Wonderful shit. Last time I saw them

in concert I got really drunk and got in a fight. I kicked this guy in his junk sack. Slap mah fro! You?

Bruno

I’m sorry dont understand all what you write!!!!

Bruno

I’m learn english now , from there are you?

How’s the name of your city?????

Jetteva

I live in Columbus. Great town. Very friendly people here, except during the riots. Where do you live?

Bruno

I live in Guaira,Parana, Brazil is a leatle city!!!!!

Bruno

What you do there??????

Jetteva

how small is it? Columbus was big until the big fire. About 600,000 people here.

Jetteva

I’m a cowboy. Well, not really, but I like to dress like one. Actually, I’m a doctor.

Bruno

Uau very big, here have 28.000 people here!

Jetteva

what do you do for a living Bruno?

Bruno

I ‘m agent immoveble !!

Jetteva

you help people buy houses?

Bruno

yes I do this and I rent and administration of imobles!!!!!

Bruno

You is married?

Jetteva

I is married. She slaps mah fro. Well, she used too, but times are dry Bruno. You know how women are sometimes.

Bruno

I’m wiht the map of your country in my hand!!!!!

Bruno

yes I do what you want speak I’m married too!!!!!

Jetteva

how’d you find me Bruno? Just curious.

Bruno

I’m slaw to the computer, I look for anywhere and I found you!!!!

Bruno

I think so going to the your country!!!!!

Bruno

What you know of my country?

Bruno

Jetteva I go to bed, I see you late ok?

Jetteva

I know you make some wonderful coffee.

ok, Bruno. Good night! Slap mah fro!

Angelina Jolie, who was named a goodwill ambassador at the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) said she would use her new role to raise awareness about the plight of the world’s 20 million refugees. Here’s an idea. Try raising some money. Start with making a movie where you’re not the edgy-woman. Next, tell your crazy husband that you’re donating your salary to the UNHCR. Then, he and you can sit around eating orange foods and drinking each other’s blood, you freak.

Bronx pitcher Danny Almonte may have been too old to play Little League baseball, according to records unearthed by Sports Illustrated reporters. The reporters claim that the kid who regularly fanned 16 batters a game is actually two years older than his listed age. They found two allegedly official documents recording Almonte’s birth. One listed his date of birth as April 7, 1987. A second record, filed two weeks before Almonte moved to the U.S., lists his birth date as April 7, 1989. New evidence has also found that Almonte may be the one who fired the shot from the Grassy Knoll.

Ahh, after a rousing discussion on the nature of time travel between Secretlegend and myself, I thought I might enlighten you internauts as to the prevailing theories surrounding the “paradoxes” of time travel:

A nice little introduction to some of the ideas surrounding time travel.

This article lays it out more scientifically, coming to the conclusion that, “If time travel is completely impossible then the reason has yet to be discovered.”

A British fellow with a lot of time has compiled some nice resources on his page.

This person, presumably Patricia, has created some enlightening animations to explain her view of time travel with particular attention paid to Flatland and the superstring theory.

And last, but not least, Xronos, teaches us how to actually tells us how to time travel! He even provides free “TimeMail” for all of you “time travellers on the go.”

That gives you some resources to begin exploring the various thoughts on time travel. Personally, there are plenty of days that I never want to relive. Then again, there was that time with Sally…anyway, I’m not sure anyone will ever know the truth. Perhaps, humans are just not capable of contemplating those parts of the universe and our existence.

I’ll leave you with this presentation that mund-numbingly warps time travel and some Eastern religious ideals into some new age Raelian exercise program. Wackos never cease.

CNN is reporting that the plane Aaliyah was on crashed because it was carrying to much luggage.

Gloria Knowles, who works for Abaco Air Ltd. at Marsh Harbour airport, said handlers and the plane’s pilot complained about the heavy load of the luggage but the passengers insisted on taking everything with them.

Of course they insisted on taking everything with them. Have you ever traveled with a woman? They pack nearly everything they fucking own. Add to it being a pop star diva and I’m sure the luggage factor increases 10 fold. Men can travel with whatever they can fit in their pockets, and they may not even use half of what they take. Call us goofy, but you won’t see our packing habits bring aircraft out of the sky.

What’s worse is that women will return from a vacation with twice the shit they left with. Men on the other hand, always always forget something they packed in the hotel room, but fail to notice until days later.

Richard Burt, an English professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, is a different kind of professor. So is Professor Hope Weissman of Wesleyan University in Connecticut. Why? Oh… they liken porn to Shakespeare. In fact Weissman offers a course called Pornography: Writing of Prostitutes, where students have to produce a work of pornography as a final project.

Shakespearean scholar Richard Burt says, “Shakespeare is everywhere in our culture and pornography is part of that culture. In Shakespearean plays, that’s always the question: Do they have sex? In the 19th century, people thought Shakespeare was obscene. It is part of legitimate academic inquiry.” Ok buddy, as long as your wife buys it.