THE INTERVIEW was just aired on ABC Primetime Live. Before the interview I was thinking, Condit isn’t going help himself no matter what he says. Well, now I’ve seen the interview and I think he’s going to get sympathy because he had to sit across from that twit Connie Dumb… er, Chung.

Remember Connie Dumb? In 1994 she sat across from Newt Gringrich’s mother and talked to her about her son and his life in Washington. Her famous question, “What does Newt think about Hilary?” Newt mommie said, I’m not going to say, so Connie’s masterful response was, “whisper it in my ear.…” Newt moms replies, “he says she’s a bitch.” Of course it was aired on ABC for all to see. So much for the whisper. Connie Dumb received a lot of flak from the media at large and ABC eventually banished her to a cave. She should have stayed there.

Connie Dumb is back and looking as bad as ever. Not that Condit is looking like an angel. He was evasive in his answers and never answered directly. He needs to fire his PR people.

When Connie Dumb asked him about the affair, he spoke around the question and said he would not answer it out of respect for the Levy family. Radar Connie zeroed in. Condit remained evasive. What Condit should have said was, “You ask about the affair but you know it has nothing to do with why she is missing or if she might be found. What you want is a tabloid headlines and I’m not giving that to you.” Bam. Done.

What about the polygraph? Connie Dumb wouldn’t let ole sneaky Condit get away with side stepping this question. Again, Condit answered it all wrong. Instead of being a… well, politician, he should have said, “if I take a polygraph tomorrow administered by the FBI and they say I’m innocent, will people like you stop following me every where I go and looking through my trash cans and following my family around? No? Well then, what’s the point?”

The only thing this interview did was let Condit talk without saying anything and reminds the world while Connie Dumb is nothing but an amateur reporter.

Let me know what you think.

ARKANSAS CITY — A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sun roof during an incident best described as “a mistaken rapture” by dozens of eye witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, then passed a man on the side of the road whom she thought was Jesus.

“She started screaming ‘He’s back, He’s back’ and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car,” said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

“I was slowing down but she wouldn’t wait till I stopped,” Williams said.

“She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky,” he went on to say.

“This is the strangest thing I’ve seen since I’ve been on the force,” said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up for a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who’s been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said “Come back here,” just as the Williams’ car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied “This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen.”

Those of you who were hoping (and may still be hoping) to win the big Powerball drawing would probably like to take a look at these analogies detailing your chances of winning:

If you have to drive 10 miles to buy a lottery ticket, you are about 16 times more likely to get killed in a car crash on your way to buy the ticket than you are to win the Powerball jackpot.

If you buy 50 tickets a week, you will win the Powerball jackpot on the average of about once every 30,000 years.

Let’s say you have one friend in Canada, and you put everybody in Canada’s name on pieces of paper, and put them in a giant hat and draw one out at random. Then, you are 2 1/2 times more likely to pick your one friend’s name than you are to win the Powerball jackpot if you buy a single ticket.

Let’s say that every time you drive a mile, you buy a Powerball ticket. Well, then you’ll have to drive an average distance of 167 round trips to the moon before you win the Powerball jackpot.

There’s more info in that link above, but that’s the gist of it. The strange thing about it, as the article, states is that somehow someone does win. It’s a weird little kink in statistics I suppose.

As for me, I’m 123,576 times more likely to get drunk this weekend than to win the Powerball. I’m 4,567 times more likely to see porn in the next hour than I am to win Powerball. I’m 978 times more likely to misspell something in this post (compared to Jett’s number of 1,456,832 times).

So, if you do buy a ticket and the gods smile on you and you win, please send me a picture of your smiling face. I’ll be using it as a toilet target.