Smiley the Clown has been convicted of sodomizing and sexually abusing his teenage assistant. A New Jersey jury found the professional circus clown guilty after hearing testimony by the victimized boy and viewing a videotaped incident. Smiley, however, continued to declare his innocence by saying, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman—Ms. Lewinsky.”

Paul Morgan, paralyzed from the ankles down, is preparing to have his feet cut off by guillotine on Halloween night on a Webcast that costs $20 per subscription. After completing a credit card transaction at his site, CutOffMyFeet.com, subscribers can visit a chat room to discuss Morgan’s amputation.

I give this one a 10 on the stupid ass scale.