Once in awhile the perfect opportunity presents itself to have fun at someone else’s expense. Last night, that opportunity landed right in my lap. I give my word this is 100% true. I was still at work when I received an icq from a random person in Brazil who could barely speak English. It turns out Bruno is thinking of moving to the good ole US of A and did a random search and found me. Yes, I hate to say it, but last night I was the United States’s sole representative to a citizen in Brazil. Yes, an ass like me. If you’ve been reading this site long then you would know anyone else in the country, even most pets, would make a better representative than me. As I said, I was still at work at 10:30pm last night when the first ICQ came in. By that time I had been working 14 hours and was giddy with humor. Our lead programmer was next to my desk and he was goading me on.
Without further adieu…
Bruno
How are you mark? I am from Brazil, you can speak me?
Jetteva
I’m in and out. Still at work… but what’s up?
CLOSS
Jetteva I dont speak english how make for speak wiht you ?
Note: once I saw this, I figured it was time to fuck with the poor bastard. With a co-worker prodding me on…
Jetteva
beer, sex, sports, Bruno?
Note: that is from this TV commercial.
Bruno
beer????
Jetteva
I’m so’ry, Bruno. ah’ wuz rapin’ about some commercial ah’ found funny. Slap mah fro! ah’ dought ya’ would find it funny too. ‘S coo’, bro.
Note: I ripped that from the Dialectizer.
If you want to see more, click the link below. Bruno
I’m so’ry, you speak espanish?????
Jetteva
Sorry again. I ICQ a bunch of people and sometimes I
get their messages crossed. You not good at speaking
english?
Bruno
Yes, more less!!!
Jetteva
I’m into field hockey, big time Bruno. You like field hockey?
Bruno
Yes, I do,I d like Pink floid and other
Jetteva
Field Hockey has some wild music. I’ve seen them in concert. Wonderful shit. Last time I saw them
in concert I got really drunk and got in a fight. I kicked this guy in his junk sack. Slap mah fro! You?
Bruno
I’m sorry dont understand all what you write!!!!
Bruno
I’m learn english now , from there are you?
How’s the name of your city?????
Jetteva
I live in Columbus. Great town. Very friendly people here, except during the riots. Where do you live?
Bruno
I live in Guaira,Parana, Brazil is a leatle city!!!!!
Bruno
What you do there??????
Jetteva
how small is it? Columbus was big until the big fire. About 600,000 people here.
Jetteva
I’m a cowboy. Well, not really, but I like to dress like one. Actually, I’m a doctor.
Bruno
Uau very big, here have 28.000 people here!
Jetteva
what do you do for a living Bruno?
Bruno
I ‘m agent immoveble !!
Jetteva
you help people buy houses?
Bruno
yes I do this and I rent and administration of imobles!!!!!
Bruno
You is married?
Jetteva
I is married. She slaps mah fro. Well, she used too, but times are dry Bruno. You know how women are sometimes.
Bruno
I’m wiht the map of your country in my hand!!!!!
Bruno
yes I do what you want speak I’m married too!!!!!
Jetteva
how’d you find me Bruno? Just curious.
Bruno
I’m slaw to the computer, I look for anywhere and I found you!!!!
Bruno
I think so going to the your country!!!!!
Bruno
What you know of my country?
Bruno
Jetteva I go to bed, I see you late ok?
Jetteva
I know you make some wonderful coffee.
ok, Bruno. Good night! Slap mah fro!