Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi marked the 32nd anniversary of his rise to power by describing his idea of a perfect society. That vision included a world without taxes and a land where people buy smaller drinking glasses to economize on water (seriously). He also called the United States a bunch of sissies for being afraid of a skinny man named Osama bin Laden and accused the U.S. of developing the AIDS virus in labs (again, seriously). Gadhafi closed his speech by saying, “Yeah. I said it. What’re you gonna’ to do about it, punk? Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah.”

An FBI agent fatally shot a campground owner in Vandalia, Mich. early Tuesday morning. The shooting came after property owner Grover T. Crosslin shot at a news helicopter and a police plane, burned down buildings that were targeted for civil forfeiture proceedings, and pointed a rifle at FBI agents.

Prior to initiating a four-day standoff, the man who ran the marijuana-advocating Rainbow Farm, encouraged his neighbors to get out of town because “all hell was going to break loose.” There’s a lesson in this, boys and girls. Rockin’ the ganj plus running a campground, multiplied by two or three rifles equals FBI bullets in the ass. Just a little tip from your Uncle Cos.