Annoyed by the Taliban’s continued fabrications and verbal jabs, the President today decided to strike back in a different fashion. Taking tips from several rappers, President Bush held a news conference to “let them Al-Queda hoes know how it’s really going down.”

Following is a portion of his speech:

“Relax, bin Dover, grab your ankles, stretch ya hammies,

I got deadly weapons ready, so let me cock the jammy.

Understand me, it’s a whammy, I’m flexing knives and swords,

So if you’re ready for war, I’ll lay your head on the floor. Biotch!”