Now is not the time to be capitalist. Now is not the time to get laywered up. Now is the time for logic and understanding.

A group of postal workers in Florida are now suing the US Postal Service saying that management was not proactive enough in protecting them against biological warfare.

Why does it seem like the dumbest shit happens in Florida?

You want to know why the management wasn’t “proactive enough?” Because they never could have fucking guessed in a million years that Islamic extremist would crash three planes into major US buildings, then send a highly developed form of anthrax through the mail. Trust me, if last year the US Post Office asked for extra money to protect it’s offices against biological warfare, they would have been laughed out of Washington. If they raised the price of postage again to cover these “proactive” measures last year, it would have been hunting season on the neighborhood mailperson.

America was showing the world how we react during times of high crisis. But instead you are showing them that we can be exactly what they think we are. Hell, some Americans are happy when something terrible happens to them because they know they can sue themselves into early retirement.

Fucktards.

Former football star O.J. Simpson has shown that would-be tacklers aren’t the only people he’s skilled at evading. In court on auto burglary and battery charges, Simpson was acquitted this week, proving that the justice system also has trouble wrapping up the slippery Hall of Famer. His jury deliberated for about 90 minutes before acquitting the 54-year-old Simpson, who was faced with up to 16 years in jail.

Down the hall from Simpson’s trial, an aging, unknown man with 50 cents to his name was given 20 years in prison for leaving his young kids at home while he went to work a minimum wage job scrapping gum off office building floors.