This morning on NBC’s morning “news” show, Matt Lauer… sorry, Matt Loser, again demonstrated why morning shows should not try to cover any topic related to news.

Matt Loser was interviewing a reporter from the Arabic news station that first aired the Osama Bin Ladin tape right after the air attacks began. In serious reporter-like fashion Loser asks, “Don’t you think that by airing that video you are showing anti-American sentiment?” The reported answered with nicely political answer.

I’m thinking, I remember seeing it on NBC a few hundred times. In fact, it was on American TV so much that Condi Rice, Dubbya’s National Security Advisor, called the major networks (except for the WB - see below) and told them to stop airing it amid fears it could contain secret signs to cells in the US. But when an Arabic station shows that video, it’s anti-American sentiment. When NBC shows the video, it’s news. Go figure.

Ah well. I should stop bitching. I have better things to do. Like practicing my ski jumps. Taranis bet me I couldn’t jump over his truck.

CBS has reported an employee in the office of Dan Rather has contracted cutaneous Anthrax, or skin Anthrax.

That now makes all three major networks targets of Anthrax attacks.

In order to not feel left out, The WB reported 4 cold sores and an ingrown toe nail. Links to terrorism have been unsubstantiated.

Tonight, I am heading to Rhythm and Brews to see my ONE of my favorite bands/artists ever, Robert Earl Keen. I first heard Keen back in college and fell in love with his potent musical storytelling and genuine sense of fun. I have heard that his new album is a departure from his “usual “style”, so tonight, I will find out for myself. Thankfully, I know the owner and can get 2 tickets to the sold out show.

I know that I have been trying to escape the news and anthrax and all the other truly frightening things going on in our world right now. That explains why I have been diving back into music and going to see some more live shows, as evidenced by my post on the North Mississippi All-Stars last week. Have you been listening to music to lose yourself in these days of media frenzy and hysteria? If so, what band and why?

I’m sure you have all seen this picture. It’s a fake photo of a man standing on top of the World Trade Center. Fake for many reasons, like, why is he wearing a winter jacket and wool cap during the summer in NYC. And how’d that camera survive the 1000+ degree heat after the crash and the colapse?

Anyhow, that aside, a few creative people created a whole site dedicated to backpack man. Now you can see him on the Titantic, on the Grassy Knoll (ask your parents), behind John Wilkes Booth (ask your teacher), and other such places. This site will fill the void left by BertisEvil.com when it shut down.

In anticipation of the Lord of the Rings movie coming out in December, get in the spirit by getting your own Hobbit name.

I am Milo Loamsdown of Deephallow. Which is much better than my other name, Copywriter Bumblefuck of Advertising.

Well, I woke up this morning and got myself a beer. Yeah, I woke up this morning and got myself a beer. Future’s uncertain and the end is always near. Feel better?

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the honor of posting anything here. Most of the time it is because I don’t find anything worth of posting. I hope that so far you have deduced that since I’m posting, I have something worthy of a look. Which, if you have about 9 minutes to spare, I guarantee this will be one of the funniest things you may well of have ever seen in your life.

yes, SHOW ME THE GOODS!

Is the band Anthrax planning to change its name in light of recent events? Well, according to the group’s official site, the metal men considered “changing the name of the band to something more friendly” like “Basket Full Of Puppies.” However, Anthrax (the band) has, as of now, decided to keep its name and “hope and pray” the problem goes away so we can “all grow old and fat together.”

Well, the movie I posted last week apparently was a little joke created by those fun-loving Swedes. I have had a few email me with more information, namely this page which details a translation of the Swedish subtitles. I’ll post them in the “more” link at the end of this as well.

I think this is a pretty funny little thing now that I know what is going on. Thanks to those folks (Pontus and Jonas) who wrote in with information. Translation of Daler Och Det Hemliga Vapnet

Disclaimer: Well, I’m one half of the two-men team that pieced together the “Daler och det hemliga vapnet” movie.

The subtitling is actually, as you have correctly interpreted, swedish. It’s meant to be humorous; we’ve tried to ‘hear’ words in Swedish in the hindi song (which is called Jalwa, and is by Daler Mehndi, India’s own Will Smith) and write them down. The result is totally grammatically incorrect but actually makes some sense occasionally. It’s equally disrespectful to all the parties involved, as befits this kind of silliness. We made it sunday evening for a gag after we heard the US was attacking Afghanistan, and sent the url to a few of our friends. We never thought it’d be this widespread…

The intentionally misinterpreted Swedish lyrics are as follows:

“Daler och det hemliga vapnet” = ‘Daler and the secret weapon’ (of the talibans, but that’s just implied later)

“Han teleporterar Taliban” = “He’s teleporting Talíbans”

“Yeah, han är en mjäkig mjäkig en” = ‘Yeah, he is a feeble, feeble person’ (Bush referring to Bin Laden)

“Äsch, han har ett mesigt gäng” = ‘Pfft, he’s got a weak posse’ (Bin Laden referring to Bush)

“Yes, fast han sunkar fett igen” = actually pretty untranslateable, since it’s really awful swedish but approximately ‘Yes, but he truly sucks again’ (Bush about Bin Laden again)

“Du är full med rättighet” = ‘You’re full of righteousness’ (this is a slight in-joke referring to the usual Kung Fu movies, whose translations include the word righteousness in about every sentence)(Blair to Bush)

“Och med jacka och hagel i häl” = ‘And with a jacket and buckshot in his heels’

“Kommer Yassir och avrättar dig” = ‘Yassir comes and executes you’

“Hon stjäl min cigarr ej här” = ‘She doesn’t steal my cigar here’ (this is where it gets totally incoherent)

“Och Gunnar när räcker det?” = ‘And Gunnar, when is it enough?’ (equally weird)

So, as you see, it’s supposed to be a pretty harmless joke. Not in our wildest dreams could we imagine that it would spread this much…

/Magnus Fällmar

This was submitted to me by a friend and fan of the site who also happens to be in the military. It’s an interesting perspective on how/why Sepember 11 came about. I love reading this type of thing, so if any of you have your own opinions, please post them on our forums.

Why did the WTC attack occur?

How could the WTC tragedy happen in America? Leave it to the Marines to abandon political correctness and speak the truth. Here’s how…

From a U.S. Marine Corps Harrier pilot (aired on WKOA Denver, 28 SEP)

A Military Man’s Perspective

Hardest Hitting Editorial To Date……..

The tragedy that befell all of us on September 11th shocked America. America no longer feels safe. Many of you have said, “The government should have known! 30 Billion Dollars is spent on intelligence! What about the Military!?”

Just a reminder, America, you voted our government into office. For years you allowed some dishonest politicians and twisted television media personalities to shape your ideas about the defense of our nation. Why? Because most Americans were too lazy to look beyond the three minute sound-bites on the evening news. Here’s a news flash not being broadcast much: “On September 11th, America had the exact level of protection, both military and intelligence, that it was willing to pay for”. Only yesterday the Congress and the Senate approved $40 BILLION dollars as a “Down Payment” to fight this War. A short time ago, our politicians said a $100 Million dollar increase for the Navy budget was substantial. In that same bill they ordered the Navy to conduct an $85 Million Dollar Study on… they wanted Breast Cancer research. Yes, America, your elected officials decided that the US Navy needed more mammograms and less missiles. Was this an under the table sneaky move? No, it was right out in the open. The Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of the Navy both opposed it. A New York Senatorial Candidate (Yes, she’s the one) was enraged that the Military would be so sexist and irresponsible to the needs of civilians and wanted the Navy to give the money back immediately! But the media paid it little mind. So, America paid little attention.

Did any one ever watch CSPAN? Particularly when the Heads of our Armed Services essentially begged OUR representatives to give the Military more money to fight terrorism and maintain a strong defense? Did you see the debates by the Heads of the Intelligence Services that terrorism was the new threat? They told the committees of Congress that the CIA, the FBI, and the Service did not have the money to build the necessary intelligence networks in the areas where terrorists were being harbored. They warned again and again that there was clear and present danger within America’s borders. Americans must have been watching one of their other 114 satellite channels.

The Military said: “We need more money to maintain military readiness and Combat Training.” America Answered : “What the Military needs is Sensitivity Training! You’re all sexist homophobes! I saw it on 60 Minutes!”

The Military said: “We need money to build ships, planes, tanks, and improve our technology. America still has credible threats throughout the world. Terrorism will come to America’s doorstep.” America Answered: “You’re all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy. There is no more Soviet Threat! My Senator told me so! He/She says we do not need such a big military! You’re dinosaurs trying to hold onto the Cold War! We need Social Programs!”

The Military said: “We need to recruit more Americans into the military. We need to increase our force.” America Answered: “You’re not taking my kids! We’re going to shut down the ROTC programs at our high

schools and universities, because you discriminate against alternative lifestyles! ROTC teaches CHILDREN (under 21) how to shoot guns! You just want another Columbine! Rosie and Oprah say so!”

The Military said: “We can’t keep interfering in the civil wars of small insignificant countries. It wastes our time, expends our resources, decreases training, and demoralizes our troops. The men and women of the United States are Warriors trying to defend OUR nation, we are not the third world’s police force.” America Answered: “You heartless bastards! Can’t you see the tear in the eye of that starving child!?! There are flies on her face for Christ’s Sake! Get Moving! Jesse Jackson on CNN said that is what

we pay you for!”

The Military Asked: “Why isn’t America enraged over the terrorist attack on the USS COLE that killed seventeen AMERICAN Sailors? How about the Air Force barracks bombed in Saudi Arabia? The embassy staffs in Africa? The Soldiers mutilated and dragged through the streets in Somalia?” America Answered: “We don’t have time right now! We’re busy defending Animal Rights! Our schools are handing out automatic weapons! The federal government is discriminating against cross-dressing Bolivian hermaphrodites! The police are all members of the Ku Klux Klan! The lack of Ozone is ruining my tan! If

they cut deeper into Food Stamps those poor women will have to move down to Size 18/20 dresses! AND THE WORST! Corporations are raising the prices of their products sooo high I might not be able to afford the multi-disc DVD Player for my 36′” digital-ready TV! Besides, YOU GUYS ARE PAID TO DIE!

So, America, while you sit on your couch or around your office coffee pots and ask, “Why did those terrorists kill innocent civilians? Why didn’t they go after the Military?” remember this, America: They already had, but America didn’t care. These Terrorists realized that they needed to kill American Civilians, and lots of them, before they could have their desired reaction from the people of this country. Well, now they have it.