I heard on some History Channel show that many armies devise building project or menial tasks to keep soldiers busy in between wars and battles. That’s how the Romans built all those roads and temples throughout their empire.

It’s seems the Prime Minister of Cambodia has devised a new way to keep soldiers busy. He plans to turn them into bouncers at many of Cambodia’s nightclubs. Actually, he plans to use them and their tanks to physically knock down any rogue karaoke bars. I’m talking driving the tanks through the walls in an effort to stamp out “vice” that apparently has become a problem in Cambodia. I’d say that years of war and genocide at the hands of the Khmer Rouge were a worse problem than some out-of-tune drunks, but then again I have heard Jetteva sing.

The last time I was in a rogue Cambodian nightclub, I was hit on by no less than 3 men posing as women. Sure, I felt slightly flattered, but at the same time nauseous. It’s kind of the same thing as when some fine honey be frontin’ you and knees you in your Meat and Two. It hurts like hell but at least you know you made an impression.

It’s done, it’s over, it’s through. Christmas is now over and I changed the stylesheet back to normal. Sorry for any pain that was inflicted.

Jetteva should be here sometime this afternoon for the first-ever Spitting Llamas Founders’ Day Celebration. Our official first anniversary won’t be until June, but we like to start partying early.

Since I have no idea what is going on in the news, any posts about current events may have to wait until later. Until then, relish with me the fact that as we speak a DirecTV system is being hooked up at my house. Sure, going from having no cable and not even braodcast channels to the orgasmic possibilities of DirecTV is dangerous and not recommended by the Surgeon General, I, Taranis, shall face the challenge with a stalwart gaze to the good of humanity. Yes, I am a little excited about being able to watch the Bowl Games in digital surround sound bliss.

I hope everyone had a nice Holiday. Now on to the debauchery of New Year’s Eve.

Yes, sometime or another we all have to take a vacation and I am set to do just that. I wanted to wish you all happy holidays and good cheer. My wife, son and I are heading down to Florida for some needed R&R and to witness a cousin tie the knot. On the way we’ll be stopping by Taranis’s way for some good old fashion debauchery. I’ll be sure to post a pic or two of our silly asses when I return in early January.

Happy holidays and party responsibly.

Back on October 26, I wrote about postal workers suing the post office over Anthrax. I pretty much disagreed with the idea, stating a few anti-patriotic reasons.

Now, a widow whose husband was on board one of two hijacked jets that slammed into the World Trade Center on September 11 filed suit against United Airlines, charging the carrier failed to provide adequate security.

While I invented a word in regards to what I thought about the Post Office lawsuit, I’m torn over the United Airlines lawsuit. As I stated in my earlier post, the events of September 11th could not have been forseen. They were so extraordinary, so outrageous, that had we seen them depicted in a movie, no one would have believed the possibility. So how could the Airlines prepare for such an event?

But we’ve all known that airline security is a joke and has been for a long time. Over the summer my wife and son traveled to LA from the wonderful Port Columbus International Airport. At the time my son was only 7 months old so she had to take a stroller. It was small enough that she could take it as carry-on luggage. When we got to the gate they would not let her walk through the metal detector with it but the stroller was to large to slide on the x-ray machine, even in its folded up state. So the gaurd told her to walk around the machines and metal detectors. When she did, they waved her on to her gate while I grabbed the other carry on bag. They never checked her or the folded stroller. Technically, we could have smuggled 4 pounds of coke to LA inside that thing. We didn’t, of course, but that’s not the point.

From what I know of the Airline industry, they act just like we expect a big corporation to act. Meaning, they don’t act at all. Instead of doing what’s right, like hiring expert security personnel, they hire people who sometimes can’t even speak the King’s English.

The Airline industry reminds me a lot of big tobacco. They have to be sued shitless before they will admit to anything. Despite the hijackings of the 80’s, they assume their security has always been fine.

Personally, I think for the Airline to really make any strides in security updates, they’ll have to be sued and dragged into court. Then we’ll learn just how unsafe flying is.

Last week a woman found a hand grenade in an overhead compartment as she boarding a flight. She alerted the flight crew. The plane was evacuated and the airport shut down. Then it was discovered it was a fake grenade that security was using as a test. They were checking to see if they could indeed still sneak it onboard post 9-11. Oh, here’s the good part: they forgot to remove the gernade before they let passengers board.

As long as this widow isn’t looking to make tons of money off of 9-11, I say drag their asses into court and teach the Airlines a lesson. Three months after 9-11 there have been no advances in Airline safety. Yeah, they are sticking a few Air Marshals on planes now, but that is not the type of security we need. We need big, fat, thick-ass doors with real locks between the passengers and the pilots.

What we need, actually, is common sense.

Our nation’s public education system is getting the Million-dollar Man treatment with the Senate’s approval of “The No Child Left Behind Act“. The bill, which passed 87-10, provides greater spending flexibility for school districts and creates new accountability measures for schools not getting the job done.

According to CNN, the law intends to help close a performance gap that has long existed between rich and poor students, as well as between white and minority students. Supporters of the bill said it will even the playing field between those who get adequate education and others without that guarantee.

Is the bill perfect? Of course not. They never are. But I’m with Sen. Barbara Mikulski on this one.

“Does the legislation do everything I want in education to be done? No. Does it do everything the way I want it to be done? No,” she said. “But you know what? There is a crying need in our public schools to pass this modernization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act.”

I am full of stress and short on cash. Anyway, to have a little fun, I spruced up the stylesheet and the logo thanks to nec’s suggestion. I doubt it will stay like this long. It hurts my eyes a bit. Make that a lot.

If all this talk about the Islam religion and of course the soon to be celebrated Reason for the Season has you confused, you can sign up for a class being taught at Siena Heights University that examines the intersection between spirituality and pop culture.

Sure, it sounds like a great time, but it is being taught at a Catholic school so I doubt this would be any crib course. In addition, you’d have to move to Adrian, MI, a Lenawee Community, whatever that means. The class does require you to read some texts as well, so you won’t just be sitting around discussing the finer points of each episode, drinking beer. That’s called Friday night in the Michigan State dorms.

Regardless of the requirements, I’m just glad to see that someone is recognizing the intelligence behind the Simpsons. Where else can you learn such great life lessons like coating your mouth with wax will negate the effects of the world’s hottest pepper and the “women are like beer, it looks good, it smells good, and you’d step over your own dead mother to get another one.” I wonder if they’ll offer this course online.

Let’s say there really is a Santa Claus. And, for argument’s sake, let’s say it’s possible for him to deliver toys around the world in one day using a flying sleigh. At some point, he’ll show up in the United States. In an unidentified vessel. Flying low. Starting and stopping in highly populated areas. That said, how much time will pass before an F-15 puts a missile right up Santa’s big, jolly derriere?

I’ll get to the title of this post in a few seconds…

The much talked about tape was released last week. You know the one I’m talking about, the one where Osama constantly praises Allah for total death and destruction. If anyone questioned Osama’s guilt before, there is no doubting it now. Especially the whack’s who thought the Jews were responsible.

But I’m still surprised at some of the polls that indicate how many in the Middle East think the tape is a fabrication of Hollywood magic. The polls are all over the board in regards to this, but it’s everyone from 1 in 5, to 2 out of every 3 people in the Middle East think it’s a fake. Yes the quality of the tape sucks, but I’m a little surprised that people would rather give Bin Ladin the benefit of the doubt than believe the tape is real.

But honestly, the most shocking thing to me is the casual mixing of murderous, terrorist talk with religious references and praises.

Osama: …due to my experience in this field, I was thinking that the fire from the gas in the plane would melt the iron structure of the building and collapse the area where the plane hit and all the floors above it only. This is all that we had hoped for.

Shaykh: Allah be praised.

I can’t tell you on how many levels this disgusts me. But it bothers me on another front. I wonder, how many people, especially Americans, will see the tape or transcript and make certain assumptions about Islam, or allow this tape to validate previous incorrect assumptions?

That brings me back to the title of this post. I was afraid no one would understand what they were reading so I wanted to phrase it in a way this “Christian” nation could understand. Islamic people are not terrorist, despite the unfortunate stereotype. Islam is very peaceful, probably the most peaceful religion on the planet. But while some American may use this tape to strengthen their misguided conclusions about Islam, those same people would likely not make the same conclusion if they heard someone praise Jesus over a school shooting. They would recognize it as clearly illogical religious fanaticism.

Just something to think about. Just a little perspective for a Monday.

I don’t know how many of you go camping or hiking or visit the many trails in our National Forests, but I reckon that at some point in your life, you have had to take a crap outdoors. Sure, it can be unpleasant and lead to poison ivy on your rectum or even a little unwanted attention from a passing amorous wolverine. The problem is that when your problems are over, someone else’s problems begin.

We all know that stepping in dog crap is a horrendous thing. Now just imagine if that crap were human. A half-pound of 3/4 digested McDonald’s and trail mix right smack dab in the middle of the trail. You place your foot carefully to avoid the root and you end up slipping down on yesterday’s hotdog.

Never fear, someone has heard your pleading and come to the rescue: enter stage right, H.A.D.D.. The illustrious men and women of Hikers Against Doo Doo are working to protect you and your olfactory sense from the disgusting tribulation that is treading in another man’s poop. I suggest you walk tall and watch your step.