There has been an underground Email campaign to protest Coca-Cola’s marketing affiliation with the hit film Harry Potter. By underground, I mean no one really cares.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest (the perfect name for a self-serving think tank, don’t you think?) oppose Coke’s marketing efforts because soda is not healthy for kids.

“From now on, when people say “Harry Potter, a lot of kids are not going to think about the book or movie, they’re going to think about Coca-Cola,” says Michael Jocobson, the Center’s Executive Director. “They’re turning Harry Potter into a sales vehicle for junk food.”

Excuse me while I do a few pre-rant stretches. I wouldn’t want to pull a muscle while I’m flaming.

Ok, I’m ready.

Who the fuck do you think you are?! Confuse Harry Potter with junk food? I’m sorry, but that’s about the craziest thing I’ve heard.

I grew up on Star Wars and the barrage of Burger King related Kid’s Meal cross selling. Never once did I ever confuse Star Wars with a deep-fat fried potato wedge or paper thin burger-like sandwhich.

Coca-Cola is doing exactly what you are doing, Mr. Jacobson. Riding Harry Potter’s ass to get more attention. Except your doing it in a dumb way.

If you going to complain about Harry Potter, why not complain about the witchcraft? It’s the cola that pisses you off??

Five reasons why the U.S. should give Britain assurances that Osama bin Laden will not face the death penalty should British troops capture and extradite him to the United States.

1) Since Britain is required by national law and by the European Human Rights Convention not to extradite anyone to a country where a suspect could receive the death penalty, we may not get our hands on bin Laden without providing certain assurances (if, of course, this situation were to occur).

2) It’s more important to have the confessed instigator of multiple terrorist attacks in U.S. custody than it is to ensure that he faces the death penalty.

3) Giving bin Laden the death penalty should he be captured and tried in the U.S. might make him the martyr that he seeks to become.

4) Placing bin Laden in prison in the country he despises would probably be considered by him a worse punishment than execution. (Though it might seem like the Marriott considering the holes he’s been inhabiting.)

5) Lastly, he wouldn’t last six months in an American prison. If the hope is to get revenge on bin Laden, just try him and put him in prison. There’ll be a mile-long line of inmates itching to get a huge rep by making bin Laden their cell block bitch or shoving a rusty spoon in his craw. (Though I might’ve seen one too many episodes of “Oz“.)

Reason #341 why you shouldn’t give your yogurt to emotionally unstable Lesbians.