I don’t know how many of you go camping or hiking or visit the many trails in our National Forests, but I reckon that at some point in your life, you have had to take a crap outdoors. Sure, it can be unpleasant and lead to poison ivy on your rectum or even a little unwanted attention from a passing amorous wolverine. The problem is that when your problems are over, someone else’s problems begin.

We all know that stepping in dog crap is a horrendous thing. Now just imagine if that crap were human. A half-pound of 3/4 digested McDonald’s and trail mix right smack dab in the middle of the trail. You place your foot carefully to avoid the root and you end up slipping down on yesterday’s hotdog.

Never fear, someone has heard your pleading and come to the rescue: enter stage right, H.A.D.D.. The illustrious men and women of Hikers Against Doo Doo are working to protect you and your olfactory sense from the disgusting tribulation that is treading in another man’s poop. I suggest you walk tall and watch your step.

Hackers, I hate that word, have taken over the website of Nelson Mandela’s Childrens Fund Organization. It’s one thing to hack a website, but when you redirect people visiting a site to try and help children to a page with a picture of a partially nude teenage girl, you have some serious problems.

Child pornography is bad enough and usually peddled by ass boils holed in their mother’s basements. When they start attacking the people trying to fight this aberration, that’s when you and I can’t stand back and say “I don’t do it, so, what else can I do.” The problem is difficult though because the pornography of adults is legal in most places. So, now we’re policing based on age, just like we do with alcohol and cigarettes, and we can all see how successful that has been.

I think one of the greatest problems with policing this type of activity and any other deviant sexual practices, is that the detectives and investigators have to get to close and too involved in activity. They are surrounded by it and it just can’t be healthy. My mother always told me, “You can never forget what you hear and what you see. Part of it becomes part of you.”