Here’s one I came up with today, when Jetteva and I were discussing various subjects from racism to porn:

Life is just trying to keep your head above a river of shit.

- Taranis

Tell me that’s not true.

The Best Group of Commercials Award – Budweiser. Clydesdales go to New York, mini-fridge lays the smack down, and man sliding across satin sheets. What’s Up?!?

The Commercial That Sucked Most Award – e-Trade. Ruined a good ‘monkey musical’ spot by throwing the CEO in the mix. As Mickey said in “Rocky”, “You can put a monkey in one hand and a CEO in the other and see which one is full of the most crap.” Or something like that.

The Misplaced MVP Award – Tom Brady? MVP? What? Should’ve been Adam Vinatieri. He got ‘em past the Raiders a few weeks ago. Won the Big One for ‘em. And has a wife that’s smokin’. Adam, you’re my MVP, man.

The Missing in Action Award – Where the heck was Isaac Bruce? Dude disappeared like David Duke at the Million Man March.

The Dumbest Idea Award – “Fear Factor’s” Playmate special. Hey, NBC. Playmates are famous for being hot and naked. When you lose the naked part, it’s like a loaf of old bread. Dry, boring and riddled with green crap that makes you wanna puke.

The Bear Hug Award - Willie McGinest, who at one point had a grip on Marshall Faulk like he’d mistaken the guy for Mariah Carey. Hey, Willie. Mariah’s the one all loopy on smack singing the National Anthem.

The Needs a Nickname Award - Multiple recipients. Roosevelt “Smokin” Potts. Ty “Officer of the” Law. Tebucky “Who Needs a nickname with a name like Tebucky” Jones. David “General” Patten. Ricky “Soul in the Proehl”. And Jermaine “Chief” Wiggins.

The Time to Move on Award – Pat Summerall. One of the greatest announcers ever. He’s 192 and still makes fewer mistakes than half the jokers out there.

I’ve said time and time again that the Super Bowl is one of the most boring games on earth. Never has a game even been close. Well, today I eat those words. Adam Vinatieri’s 48-yard field goal as time expired gave the Patriots a 20-17 win against the St. Louis Rams.

But I’m still pissed.

Not about the game, about the entertainment. Paul McCartney opened the show and sang Freedom as a tribute to the fallen on September 11th. I’m not saying it wasn’t touching. But why did the producers of the Super Bowl ask a British guy to pay tribute to Americans? I’m not trying to be an ass here. I know alot of people from many nations died on September 11th, but it happened on American soil and thusly is an American tragedy.

OK, I saw other American performers up there. But Paul McCartney closed the opening with his tribute. Was every other American performer not good enough? Aretha belting out God Bless America would have had us all weeping, I tell you.

And halftime. U2. They did have a touching rendention of The Streets with No Name while all the names of the victims of 9-11 rotated in the background. But aren’t they Irish?

What’s next? N’SYNC rocks Cinco De Mayo in Mexico City?

Slightly more than one year after losing the Presidential election to Dubya, Al Gore is starting to mouth off again. Saying nothing more than, “And tonight, as this new election season opens, I intend to rejoin the national debate,” he’s leaving us all (or at least me) wondering if he is going to run for President again.

This would be Gore’s third chance trying to move into the ultimate government housing. But this time, he’ll win. And I’ll tell you why.

One, more people voted for Al Gore than any other democrat in the history of voting. And with 50,000 democrats and minorities in Florida feeling like they were cheated at the polls, look for him to beat that record again.

Two, he’ll finally get it right. Meaning, he’ll finally have his messaging on target. In the last election he forgot one thing, he forgot to tell everyone that he and Clinton created 22 million new jobs. Just since March, 2001, 1.2 million people have lost their jobs. And it’s not the result of September 11th either. Sure, that didn’t help our economy, but the recession started before September 11th. Our jobless rate is now at a 6 year low. When George Sr. was President we were in a recession. Now with George Jr. as President, we are in a recession again. With Clinton/Gore, the US had the best economy in its history. That’s all Al will need to do, and all I expect he will do - he’ll stand up and say, “the last time I was working from the White House, you all had jobs.”

You might think, but Dubya has an 85% approval rating. Yeah, so did Winston Churchill right after WW2. In fact, he was regarded as a great war time leader. But he got voted right out of office. Why? The economy in England sucked. We like strong leaders, but we like having jobs even more.

Three, deficit. Shall I say it again? When George Sr. was in office the U.S. had a deficit. With Clinton/Gore, surplus. Dubya inherited that surplus, now, not even half-way through his first term, we have a 80 billion dollar deficit.

Though this time around, I predict Al Gore will have to beat 5 - 7 other democrats who will also be seeking the parties nomination. I predict we’ll see Sen. John Kerry and Sen. Tom Daschel both run for the nomination. I think this will be better for Al (look, we’re on a first name basis) who will use the democratic debates to resharpen.

Further evidence? Gore2004.com has already be registered.