There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. — Will Rogers

It seems Angelina Jolie is suffering from a mild case of amnesia. In a recent EOnline! interview, the star of “Gia” recalled her role in that movie as one that contained “no frontal” nudity below the waist.

“Everybody still seems to remember me as naked in Gia, but I said, ‘No frontal below the waist, and anything from behind is going to be from a distance,’” the actress said. “So, my nudity in “Gia” was really just my breasts.”

But the star of the new “Life or Something Like It” has clearly never seen “Gia“, or is suffering from some type of memory loss. I’ve seen the movie, and in that 126 minutes, the former Lara Croft served up a great deal more than Anna Kournikova ever did.

I keep thinking about the movie Seven. Specifically the end when Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt are driving Kevin Spacey out to the desert and they are talking. Kevin Spacey is letting them in on his reality as he sees it, but the sane guys are in the front seat arguing with him. Days like today I wonder if I’m in the front seat or the back seat. Who’s sense of what is going on around here is the right one?

Cristie Kerr kisses the trophy she received for winning the LPGA Longs Drugs Challenge at the Twelve Bridges Golf Club in Lincoln, Calif. This was Kerr’s first win on the LPGA tour.

I bet she’s going to regret her victory photo for the rest of her life.

Is it just me, or does it make zero sense for police officers to be trolling the streets on Segways? These ‘technological marvels’ go only 12 miles per hour and currently cost $9,000. That’s the same price of three or four very nice mountain bikes—which won’t need to be plugged in, can travel at higher rates of speed, traverse multiple terrain types, and offer actual exercise.

I can just imagine a barbaric criminal escaping down Main Street as he’s followed by two chubby officers who can’t seem to get their Segways over that pile of rocks by the Park. Along comes Officer Fit, who on her $1,500 Trek, overtakes her slow-moving, out-of-shape colleagues, bunny hops the rock pile, and pounces on the unsuspecting outlaw. Justice served. Money saved. Stupidity conquered. Any questions?

Tired of untold billions going in the pockets, or robes, of Middle East Princes, that may or may not be supporting terror?

Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Middle East countries by not buying gas from stations that buy from the Middle East.

Major companies that DO import Middle Eastern oil:

Shell: 205,742,000 barrels

Chevron/Texaco: 144,332,000 barrels

Exxon/Mobil: 130,082,000 barrels

Marathon: 117,740,000 barrels

Amoco: 62,231,000 barrels

If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 billion.

Here are some large companies that DO NOT import Middle Eastern oil:

BP/Phillips

Citgo

Sunoco

Conoco

Sinclair

All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and can be easily documented. Refineries located in the U.S. are required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing. They report on a monthly basis.

The LAPD is charging actor Robert Blake in the death of his wife who was killed nearly 1 year ago. He was arrested Thursday evening and police say they have evidence that he killed his wife outside a North Hollywood restaurant. Blake’s handyman and bodyguard was also arrested for conspiracy to commit murder.

I’ll never understand the Hollywood crowd. The Police are saying Blake felt trapped in a marriage he never wanted to be part of. Goofy me was wondering, why not just get a lawyer and file for divorce? Sure, he may lose half his money, but that sure is better to being someone’s bitch at lockup.

Blake, who portrayed a killer in the movie “In Cold Blood,” told police his wife was in the car after the two had dinner at a restaurant. He told police he went back into the restaurant to retrieve his gun, and that when he returned to the car he found his wife shot in the head. Damn, I hate it when I leave my gun at the restaurant. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down for a good meal and left without my gun. Why, just a few weeks ago, Cosbysweater and I met for dinner at our local Red Robin and we piled up our gaks on the table before we ate. Luckily cosbysweater had the wherewithal to remind me to to re-holster before we left. He saved me from possibly finding myself in a major corral shootout without my hardware.

Blake’s lawyer said he only married Bonny Bakley because she became pregnant with his daughter. That is interesting. He knocks her up, then has the old-fashioned sense to marry her. Yet not that old-fashion sense didn’t stop him from popping a cap in her noggin.

Hell, these days you can even get a divorce on the internet. He could have done it in his underwear in the comfort of his own home while surfing porn. Some men have even tried to divorce their wives via instant messages. Had he been just a tad more lazy, Bonnie Blakely could be alive right now.

The big news of the day is that Osama Bin Ladin was evidently involved in the intense fighting at Tora Bora in December as the last vestiges of the Taliban collapsed. Scapegoat Army Gen. Tommy R. Franks is being blamed for not committing US troops to the battle early enough to capture of kill Bin Ladin.

At this point I think it’s valuable to put a few facts together. The borders of the US are safe again. Bin Ladin is living from cave to cave, wiping his own ass with his hand. That’s the closest he’s going to get to being put in jail, so I’m not sure it’s a huge deal that we didn’t get him in the December battle.

That is, of course, if we stick to our resolve to fight terror. If we loosen up of the coming years, he could easily build back up. Look what we did with Saddam. Of course our intentions were good, but with our faith in an agreement and UN inspectors, he just may be back to nearly pre-war strength. Remember Bush Sr. said the aim of the Persian Gulf War was to set Iraq back 10 years. It’s been 11 years since the Gulf War.

Speaking of Iraq, according to Gallup 59 percent of Americans favor sending U.S. troops to invade Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein from power. And 81 percent believe it “likely”” that U.S. troops will be sent to Israel. Yet when the same Americans are asked if President Bush has a “well-thought-out” Mideast policy, the answer comes back almost split, with 48 percent saying he does and 47 percent saying he doesn’t.

My liberal pal, Chris Mathews, said it best:

At the very time the United States faces global Islamic hostility for our support of Israel, a strong majority of Americans wants to invade an Arab country. They would be willing to send hundreds of thousands of our troops to Baghdad, thereby establishing a second East-West front. With Israeli tanks rolling through the streets of the West Bank, killing Arabs, American tanks would be rolling through the streets of Baghdad, killing Arabs.

Can you imagine some guy from Arkansas trying to tell the tough-as-nails Israeli Defense Force not to protect its country? Can you imagine some kid from the Bronx trying to figure which Palestinian might have suicide in mind? I think they’d have a hard time with that mission even if they knew Hebrew and Arabic both.

Outrageous U.S. Rep. James Traficant, D-Ohio, was found guilty of bribery and all other charges against him Thursday after a two-month federal racketeering and corruption trial. The charges included taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington.

His sentencing is set for June 27, where he faces up to 63 years in prison.

But here is what I find to be the amazing part. He faces possible expulsion from the House of Representatives.

Possible? You mean cheating thieves like Traficant don’t get tossed out on their ass immediately? Here the Republicans were trying to get Clinton to quit for poking a fat chick, and here a House member is taking bribes and making his aides into house maids, yet it’s only possible he might have to leave.

This proves my point. Congress wasn’t pissed at Clinton, they were jealous. They were jealous they didn’t find the easy tramp first.

Right now, the US and the world’s opinion seem to be standing against Israel. To be honest, it’s shocking at best that this is happening, and that the media is letting it happen. (That certainly goes against the long held stereotype that Jews control the media, huh?)

As I hear those around me discussing the Israeli/Palestinian conflict at the water cooler, it’s becoming clear to me that very few people understand the whole picture. And by the whole picture, I’m not saying what has transpired in the Middle East in the last year, I’m talking about what has transpired there since 1967.

MSNBC has done a wonderful job at staying impartial and respectful to the history betwixt these two nations. I implore you to read the following three articles on the Middle East conflict.

Face it. It’s time to educate yourself to what is really going on, and what this conflict really means.

Article one.

Article two.

Article three.

They are stunning in accuracy and education. Do yourself the favor.