There’s a growing rabble of charlatans calling my trusted spiritual advisor a phony. Don’t let these con artists poison your mind or destroy the reputation of this great woman. Miss Cleo is a noted soothsayer descended from a great ancestral line of Jamaican shaman. She will be vindicated, and the truth shall be told.

She is not from Los Angeles, and she has never, ever been a playwright. She is a gifted psychic who has “the gift”. How else could she know that I was upset, or that I hadn’t been sleeping well? It’s not like I called her at 3 a.m. crying like a baby. (Sure, it was midnight and I was sniffling, but I had a cold.)

Don’t let the non-believers railroad this woman. Call her now and tell her you believe. (She’s expecting you.) Then, call your congressperson and encourage him or her to enact legislation that prevents the government from attacking our national treasures. Only you can change the future.