Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has called for the United States to withdraw from all territories the US occupies in Afghanistan “without delay.” Sharon also called for a halt to all further incursions into Afghani territory.

Sharon noted the right of the United States to defend itself but said he would ask President Bush to, “halt all incursions into Afghani-controlled areas and begin withdrawing from those areas it has recently occupied.”

Areil Sharon then called upon the Afghanistan leadership to speak out against terrorism, order an immediate and effective cease-fire, and a crackdown on terrorist networks within their own country.

The White House responded saying the missions in Afghanistan will not end, “until the murderers hiding in different places have been arrested, and the terrorist infrastructure has been dismantled.”

“We are trying to restore security to our nation so our citizens can feel safe,” a White House official added.

Ariel Sharon said Israel would dispatch an envoy to the region immediately with the hopes of negotiating a cease-fire between the two nations. Sharon added that Israel’s peace plan is committed to a settlement that includes “two states, U.S. and Afghanistan, living in peace and security.”

President Bush said the United States would expedite actions in Afghanistan, but still offered no timetable for withdraw.

“If the United States can chase the terrorist that pose a danger to their safety, we should be able to do the same,” Ariel Sharon added.

As I posted much earlier about Google Whacking, part of the game has come true. Once you post a google whack somewhere, it’s no longer a google whack. As with my posted google whack, Llama Esemplatic, now is un-whacked since this site also shows up making it no longer a solo entry.

Speaking of whacking…

A new search engine has hit the cyberspace waves. Teoma wishes to whack google in their junk. I’ve been using Teoma since its debut on Monday and it works very nice. A google whacker? Not likely, at least not yet. Teoma has indexed only 200 million web documents in comparison to googles 1.5 billion. All the same though, as the index count on teoma goes up, I predict it will quickly gain favor behind Yahoo! (why do people still use that piece of junk?) and Google.

Speaking of whacking…

Those Israeli’s are really handing it to the Palestinians, and George Bush handed it to both of them. Palestinian Authority President Yasser Arafat seems to be confused by why any of this is happening. Well, Yasser, if a Palestinian suicide bomber kills 25 Israeli’s while they are celebrating the first night of passover, what do you think is going to happen? If Israel had launched an attack on a Muslim holiday, don’t you think the Muslim world would be up-in-arms? I’d bet so. Not that the Israeli’s are completely innocent either, but when you have the bigger tanks…

Either way, it’s like Taranis said, it’s like watching two dogs fight at this point.

Speaking of whacking…

Taranis also noted in his earlier post, it’s now ok to whack your cousin. What a relief, eh?

Sure, it may be fitting that my Chinese coworker found this on a chinese language bulletin board, but that doesn’t really say anything about how uncanny is the resemblance between George and a simian horde. And to think that some people don’t believe in evolution.

I’m not sure whether I should be frightened by this or heartened. It seems to me that someone who acts like a chimp probably can’t do much harm. Now if were to to mimic the faces of a Silverback Gorilla or even that of an Orangutan, we might have a problem. Chimps are known as the practical jokers of the jungle. They aren’t as vicious as the Gorilla or as plain mean as the Orangutan. So, basically what I’m saying is that we have a joking panty waist as the president of our country.

Look at his response to the goings ons in Israel. He keeps sending Peacemakers over there, and I’m not talking about the missiles. What we need to do is just step away. Have you ever seen two dogs fighting each other? You try to soak them with water to make them stop. You might throw something at them, yell at them a bit. But what you normally end up doing is just walking away and letting them finish the fight. It is a fruitless battle to try to seperate them and all you do is get bit in the process.

So, take the Middle East crisis, add in a little bit of terrorism paranoia, a lot of Spring Fever, my wife’s ever declining sex drive, and the the fact that I will be laid off from my job next week and you know that I need to partake heavily of the fruits of technology. Especially if they fill the glass with Utopias MMII.

Finally, the doctors have proven what all us hicks knew to be true. Marrying cousins have a very small increased risk of having a baby with birth defects. The increase in possibility is somewhere around 2% meaning that unrelated couples have a 3-4 percent risk whereas “kissing cousins” have a 5-6 percent risk of having a child with a birth defect.

Now, I am born and raised here in Dixie and I swear that I don’t know any cousins that are married. I’m not denying their existence, I’m just saying I’ve never seen it. It’s like Bigfoot. It’s an amazing and sort of frightening possibility but I can’t prove it with my own eyes. Having said that, I think that this news is great for the cousins who must be out there wondering if their next session of trailer park rockin’ will result in a child with birth defects. Now the stigma can be lifted and the unprotected bangin’ can begin.

Sure, the risk for defects is increased, but at least now the love that has been squelched can be allowed to breathe free. Isn’t more love in the world something that we could all use?

In Oklahoma, a woman has been accused of trying to trade her baby for a puppy. And to make this situation even sadder, the puppy was: a Chihuahua. Now, I’m no expert on dog-to-baby commerce, but this trade sounds a bit uneven. It seems to me that a 7-month-old kid ought to get you at least a chocolate Lab on the baby bartering circuit. Clearly, this woman didn’t have the latest Baby Blue Book. It’s yet another sad, sad story of the uneducated consumer.

The Purple Cow

Reflections on a Mythic Beast Who’s Quite Remarkable, at Least.

I NEVER saw a Purple Cow;

  I never hope to See One;

But I can Tell you, Anyhow,

  I’d rather See than Be One.

Gelett Burgess

In the midst of a conversation, this thought kept into my mellon:

Somedays, I just feel like a hamster taped into the rectum of life.

There’s a growing rabble of charlatans calling my trusted spiritual advisor a phony. Don’t let these con artists poison your mind or destroy the reputation of this great woman. Miss Cleo is a noted soothsayer descended from a great ancestral line of Jamaican shaman. She will be vindicated, and the truth shall be told.

She is not from Los Angeles, and she has never, ever been a playwright. She is a gifted psychic who has “the gift”. How else could she know that I was upset, or that I hadn’t been sleeping well? It’s not like I called her at 3 a.m. crying like a baby. (Sure, it was midnight and I was sniffling, but I had a cold.)

Don’t let the non-believers railroad this woman. Call her now and tell her you believe. (She’s expecting you.) Then, call your congressperson and encourage him or her to enact legislation that prevents the government from attacking our national treasures. Only you can change the future.