Maybe some of you amateur psychologists out there can help me on this one. I had a strange dream last night and while the content isn’t necessarily something that is recurring, the general nature of the dream happens quite often.

What will happen is that something funny will happen in my dream, and I will laugh very heartily. Often, I end up laughing in my sleep, quite loud, sometimes waking up my wife. I have read that laughing like that in your dream means that you are suppressing some sort of worry or concern.

But the weird part about this one was that I was dreaming about myself dreaming and laughing in my sleep. So, in my dream, I was camping out with some buddies and they got mad because I kept waking them up with my laughing. Several times in this dream would I fall asleep and dream within dream about something funny.

Turns out that I was laughing in real life as well. So, I ended up laughing in my sleep at something that I was dreaming about laughing at in my sleep. It’s like being in two dimensions at one time. A little disconcerting, and it sort of has my head in a tailspin this morning.

Sure, I use Windows every day, but after updating a server with a Microsoft “critical” security update yesterday, I’ve had it. This “critical” update ending up blowing away many of the user passwords on the server and it took me 4 hours of trudging through the Microsoft “Knowledge” Base to fix the problems it caused.

I want a Mac. I want a Mac with OS X Jaguar. I want that beautiful GUI. I want the BSD underneath. I want the ease of installing new programs. But I can’t get rid of the PC because there are so many little useful apps written for it. Little things that do one job really well. And I use a lot of these little utilities. I also can’t afford a Mac. I simply can’t afford to pay double the price simply to get that OS. It is tempting however.

This movie might explain some of my problems:

Get Quicktime, you dumb ass!

So, there it is. To Mac or not to Mac?

Just when you thought it would be cool to know what animals were thinking along comes a really Mad Cow. I didn’t know the disease made you unfunny.

Yes, once again, we have changed the software that runs our forums. We feel that this software is faster, easier on the server, and easier to manage.

We are using the Invision Board from Invision Power Services. It is a free board, but has features that all the pay boards have, plus the code is well-written and the development team is a professional bunch with none of the infighting and crap that some of these other free forum “products” seem to have.

All those that were registered before should be able to login with your old username and password. Additionally, all old posts, polls, sigs, and other preferences have been converted to the new software. If you aren’t registered on our boards, now is a perfect time to check them out.

We will be making style and configuration changes over the next few weeks, so things may look funky from time to time, but rest assured that we are sticking with Invision Board for the foreseeable future.

North Korea has now admitted that they have an active nuclear weapons program. In fact they were bold enough to admit that is has been underway for some time, even though they promised in 1994 never to attempt to develop such weapons.

Sounding strangely like another country we like to talk about, North Korea originally agreed to allow inspections to verify the agreement was being kept, but has since blocked all inspection attempts.

Oh goodie, another country for Dubbya to blow up. As an American, and a proud one at that, I walk the line on issues such as these. I don’t want rogue countries to posses weapons they are not mature enough to handle, especially countries that are run by dictators that can push the button on a whim.

Nevertheless, I am no fan of hypocrisy. If the United States can posses such weapons, how can we say that no one else can? Because we want to ensure we always have the upper hand? I don’t believe for one second that the United States has ever stopped our nuclear program.

The United States government seems to follow the grandfather clause in regards to certain weapons. If your country implemented a nuclear weapons program before 1975, then enjoy. If you attempted to implement such a program after 1975, then we have some friends called the Army Rangers that will be paying you a visit.

Is this for protection sake, or military superiority sake? The United States is attempting to say that no one should have such weapons, but we have them because others do, so we are merely the balance of that evil. (Oh, and don’t stick nukes in Cuba even though we stuck them in Israel and Turkey.)

I wonder sometimes if the reason the United States doesn’t want other countries to posses such weapons is because that takes them off the “can invade if we want to” list. Well hell, we can’t invade North Korea now because they have the bomb!

Why do we think they are any more likely to use nuclear weapons than we are? Where is the NRA on this issue? Yes, the NRA. I said the NRA.

If the United States holds nuclear weapons as a deterant, and the NRA says having a 45 magnum in your house is a deterant, and we are all entitled by our 2nd Admendment rights to posses such a deterant, then why can’t North Korea have nuclear weapons?

Kang Suk Ju, a high ranking North Korean offical summed up his countries desire to attain nuclear weapons: “Your president called us a member of the axis of evil. Your troops are deployed on the Korean peninsula. Of course, we have a nuclear program.” Deterant indeed.

So what is the lesson here? How about, let’s not call other countries names, or brand them as “evil.” Doing so will not cause these countries to say, “you’re right! Now we’ll start acting just like the US!”

Are we going in? This situation sounds alot like the one in Iraq. They agreed to end their program and not start another one. They agreed to inspections to verify. They have blocked all inspections since. But we won’t go in. North Korea has a real Army and a real Air Force. Not paper dolls like Saddam has.

It’s clear, someone has to stand up to nuclear proliferation in the world. I don’t want terrorist to get their hands on “dirty bombs.” But maybe if we stop being such an ass to other countries, they won’t hate us so much, nor have the desire to build nuclear bombs to deter us.

With a sniper on the run in DC, shooting up innocent American’s like it is some sort of game at the state fair, a new debate is bubbling on the hill. It is called Ballistic Fingerprinting.

If you are not familiar with this, it simply provides each and every gun manufactured with a “signature” so that when shell casings are found, it can be immediately linked to the gun that fired it. Think about your own fingerprints. If ballistic fingerprinting became law, guns would have fingerprints too.

Of course, that’s over the NRA’s dead bodies. After all, this sniper is doing nothing but exercising his 2nd Amendment Right to own military grade equipment. Let’s not get into the discussion that when the Constitution was written, the most accurate rifles could shoot 50 feet tops. Where do you think the term, don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes comes from? John Paul Jones said it during the American Revolution, utilizing Constitutional era weapons, because a person literally had to be that close to you or your shot was worthless.

Interestingly enough, the Bush White House is saying no to ballistic fingerprinting. Who knew that when Dubbya stole the office, he’d be handing out free ski masks to all felons. The White House is citing privacy issues with ballistic fingerprinting. Yes, it would be a shame if we knew the identity of the sniper. But that would be invading his privacy.

While we are at it, why don’t we just ask the law enforcement agencies of the United States to stop dusting for normal fingerprints. That is an equal invasion of privacy.

Ballistic fingerprinting does have limitations, of course. One, it would only tell law enforcement agencies who originally purchased the gun. If the gun were stolen or sold without a change in the registration, then the trail would stop. But in my mind, that would at least give law enforcement a place to start.

But that would require gun owners who purchase new guns to register. Another thorn in the side of the NRA. Register? That would be letting the government know what type and how many guns you have. Exactly. That’s the point.

I have to register my car. The government knows what type and how many cars I own. And if I use it to kill someone, then can find me based off of that registration. They can track my plate number.

If it’s not a big deal to register a car, what is the big deal in registering a gun? Especially since guns kill roughly 30,000 people a year.

I have to register my dog. I don’t mind telling the State of Ohio what type and how many dogs I have. Because my dogs are not trained to kill the mailman or maul the neighbors. Plus if my dog ever gets lost, he may be returned to me based on the registration information.

So I have a little trouble with the NRA when they complain about registering guns. Or when they say armor piercing bullets are OK. Now they are complaining about ballistic fingerprinting. What’s next? Shell case-less ammo. I can’t wait to see how the NRA justifies that.

The problem I see is based on the 2nd Amendment itself. Here is a quick history lesson. The 2nd Amendment is:

A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Does the Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantee the individual right to bear arms or merely the collective right to bear arms? “Most legal scholars,” Grey Davidson writes in his book Under Fire, “find the ‘collective right’ position more convincing than the NRA’s interpretation.” This includes Erwin Griswold, a former dean of the Harvard Law School, former Supreme Court Justice Lewis, and Warren Burger, who, though a lifelong hunter and gun owner, has called the gun lobby’s interpretation “one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the American public by special interest groups that I have ever seen in my lifetime…”

People do not feel safe going out to pump gas. People fear for their kids as they drop them off for school. People are being shot while they unload groceries for their family. Am I talking about Washington, D.C., or Israel? Am I talking about Washington, D.C., or the Ivory Coast?

Why turn down ballistic fingerprinting? How about we just go back to days when the FBI was not allowed to carry guns, too.

The “Special” Chorale vs. Burger King

My wife and I lead fairly boring lives. Just take a look at this site that I helped build and you’ll see. Doing constructive things is not something of which I am fond.

To that end, she and I have developed a fierce Yahtzee rivalry. It started out as playing a game to decide who was going to do the dishes or wash the dog. Simple domestic chores meted out through a little competitive banter. It was clean, fast, fun, and efficient.

Then we got Triple Yahtzee. That’s when things turned ugly.

Last night, the darkness surrounded us like the cool breeze blowing through the window. Wagers on the game escalated from the trundles of domestic bliss to the wacked out dares of middle school. And then the final game.

As the clock struck 2a.m., the final challenge was announced. I had been on a good streak that evening and felt not one twinge of fear when the wager of the winner giving the loser a haircut was agreed upon. I knew that I would win and that I would defer the spoils of victory in light of the importance of hair to a female.

Sometime around my fourth or fifth declaration of WTF?!, I lost the game. Thinking that my beautiful, loving wife would not want to collect her pound of flesh, I wallowed in mock fear. Then she brought out the clippers.

I regained consciousness this morning with Tim, the barber, laughing hysterically after attempting to repair the damage she had done. Even though I now look like an escaped mental patient, the whole thing was pretty damned funny. There’s lots of lessons to be learned here, the least of which is: Never gamble with a woman. Anything that can bleed for a week each month and not die is inherently evil.

While we here at Spitting Llamas could rarely be categorized as overconsumers who turn our bodies and our lives into vessels for the corporate good, I simply have to mention to quality website that I found recently. Now this site isn’t sexy or mind-blowing, but it’s functional and very cost-effective.

SurveyMonkey.com is a site that allows you to build online surveys, collect responses, and analyze the data collected in an efficient and altogether transfixing way. The interfaces are clean and easy to use. The surveys offer complete customization as to colors and logos. You can choose from tons of different question types and even add “skip logic” to those questions.

They provide some email list management tools that you can use to advertise your survey, but the power of all this lies in the “analysis” and results viewing features. All the data can be exported in a variety of formats for further study, but graphs and charts are available in real-time.

Put simply, this is a highly functional website with powerful features that are done right at a price that cannot be ignored.

Don’t give it up for KG, don’t give it up for me, just give it up for Ryan and SurveyMonkey.com

We greatly apologize for the site disruptions as of late. This site is hosted by IMHosted, but the past couple of days they have been having trouble… well, hosting.

I suspect they have been getting hammered by a DoS attack, as they reported problems along those lines a few months ago.

Thanks for sticking with us, and again, we apologize for the connectivity issues.