Is there any way to resign from the human race? Seriously. Can I just become a member of the wolf species or something? Anything to keep me from being tied in any way to the people who think the pregnant Midge doll is bad. It’s hard to know where to start with all of this. I guess my best course of action is to point out that people have no problem selling a Barbie, with its near-impossible figure, to a child, but if you sell a pregnant doll showing a realistic depiction of female life, the super-sensitives hit the fan. I don’t understand where the problem with all of this comes from. Midge is married, comes with a wedding ring and everything.

One interviewee claims, “This doll promotes teenage pregnancy.” This simply is not possible for two reasons: Midge is not a teen and teens don’t play with Barbie. What this doll does, if anything other than cost a ton of money, is show the real consequences of having sex. No teenager is going to see this doll and think, “Alright, if Midge, a fake, plastic toy, can have a baby, then so can I!”

In the end, this should be tossed up there with the other examples of hyper-sensitivity in our culture. For some reason, whether it be political correctness or some pervading sense of social guilt, our society has become a bunch of people looking for reasons to get pissed off and offended. My grandfather-in-law showed me an email joke that someone sent him. It detailed all the things that you can’t do anymore. Things like: “Remember when we could drive with no seatbelt? Remember playing outside?” Sure, some of that is nostalgia, but, wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all just minded our own damned business.

Until that happens, consider me resigned from the human race. I’m sure some of you already think me a chauvinistic pig.