We live in a strange world. Let’s face it, if you turn a critical eye about you and really look at what surrounds us, then it’s really understandable why the French hate us. Any road trip will expose what type of country we live in.

After all, where else does Hell freeze over?
With any long road trip, its inevitable that you’ll have to stop at one of our fine rest areas. You’re driving and the pressures start building to the point where you have to pull aside. Some of these places are rather scary. I won’t stop at a rest stop unless I really, really, really have to drop a load.

Though, I’d like to know what state this rest area is in. If it’s in Ohio, I know where I’m going this weekend.

Though if you can’t find a bong recreation area, there are many fine freeway-side rest stops to relax on the long trips. I wonder what shape the toilet seats are in here?

But honestly, drugs and devils are not the way to happiness, no matter what your college friends tell you. What you need is some inner peace. And while driving through the heartland, I’m always struck by how many churches I see.

Inner peace would be great, I’m just not sure that church would help me find it. There are some churches though that have it figured out. I’m Jewish, but I’d stop in this church any day.

Road trips often get a man hungry. After all, trying to fold up that damn map can work up an appetite. Just be careful you don’t park in the drive-thru…. or, drive through the parking lot… er, I’m not sure…

Well, tell ya what. Let’s not eat at one of our finer fast food establishments. Let’s handle it ourselves. Let’s just drive back to the Bong Recreation area and cook out. Nothing like a brat and some burgers on an open flame.

Just be sure you have enough propane in your tank.

Traveling through the mid-west there are all kinds of local, mom and pop, roadside places to stop, gas up the SUV and grab a candy bar. It helps if you can find a Hussey’s near you. No where else can you get guns, wedding dresses and cold beer all in one stop. Wall-Mart should take a lesson!

The thing I hate about traveling though is that the road maps aren’t always accurate. The signs don’t always help either.

When your traveling, have you ever noticed how many teamsters you see? Some stretches of highway seem to have nothing but truck after truck after truck. But that’s great! It’s America at work, tending to the needs of its people. This company, well, I’m not sure what service they are providing.

My wife is the type of person that likes to see the local sites. We’ll randomly pull off and drive toward a campus area, or local shops. You know, to soak up the local fair and meet some local people. Sometimes we argue over which way to go.

The best part of traveling, as they say, is heading home. The urban planers in my suburb didn’t think everything through as well as they should have, I’m guessing. But I figure you’re only in danger if you are in a wheelchair.

Yes, it’s always nice to return home. How much did you miss me while I was gone?