Archive for June 23rd, 2003
Columns of Poo Update - The New Deal for America

This column was written by the collection of Llamas, Cosbysweater, Taranis and Jetteva, working together on an idea - the idea of another New Deal for America to fix the economy, help our huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and reclaim America for the people. Read the whole column here.

Corporate Geese
Grow the economy. That’s been the goal of every administration I can remember. Clinton got in the White House with, “It’s the economy, stupid.” However, recent attempts at an economic recovery have been treating us, the average Joe, like we are the stupid ones. Acting like a beneficent hander-down of the holy bread, politicians have been expecting us in the middle and lower classes to chitter and chirp gleefully at the meager gains they give us. Meanwhile, in their towers the corporate geese gather their golden eggs for when the omelette maker comes.

Not long ago, I was at a local food pantry where I spoke to the mother of two school-age children. This woman who worked full-time said she loved when school was in session because her children got to eat breakfast and lunch for free. The problem was that her minimum wage job barely paid her enough to supply her family’s minimum needs. It’s very sad when people rely on our school system to not only educate, but to feed their kids. Indeed, the free lunch program began because children were so impoverished and malnourished that they were nearly incapable of learning. What does it say about our country when the Army has to throw away expired MRE’s and our children lose brain function because of lack of food?

Read the rest here.

Get Some Balls

Over the weekend as I was driving to and fro, tending to the errata of errands to get my through my weekend, some yahoo cut me off. Being the levelheaded American I am, I gave him the finger and laid on the horn like Richard Simmons on Harvey Fierstein. But I was darting around in my little Mazda and I thought, if this guy knew what kinda man I am, he’d never dare to cut me off in traffic again…

Worry no more. Now you can show your jewels to any who would dare test your testosterone on the streets. In the form of Truck Nuts, no one will doubt your manhood again.

Displayed on your truck, car or bike in a variety of colors (the blue balls are my favorite), you can announced to the masses, don’t mess with me, I’ve got balls.

The makers of these fine gems have clearly paid attention to detail — one hangs lower than the other. Why do I have a feeling most of the people who have these are also NASCAR fans?