Comments on: Where do people meet people?

By: Jimbo

Jimbo — Sat, 16 Oct 2004 15:56:30 +0000

It’s even worse when you’re in your early 30’s and not married. =\

By: Alex Ezell

Alex Ezell — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 18:08:11 +0000

I think Charles has some sage advice. I’m in the same position as you Mark, to some extent. The majority of the people I spend my time with are all under the age of 18 and they’re my students.

So, I find myself really relishing the meaningful conversations over dinner with other faculty members. Even though many of them have different interests than I do.

One thing that I learned about good friendships, really good ones: you’re lucky to have one in your entire life, so if it happens, it will happen regardless of other circumstances.

By: Charles

Charles — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 15:24:58 +0000

Friendships take work… and a lot of time. Incrementally, you’ve chosen to give away the best parts of yourself to your wife, your job, and your children. You’ll never develop the same type of intimacy in friendships as you did prior to these life changing decisions. If you did, the people you love would pay the price. It seems the “I can have it all” byte we’ve been raised to believe is falling apart. Sooner or later, the endless hours of XBox you used to enjoy will net you about 45 minutes before “the stare” from wifey paralyzes your concentration. And the “Daddy, play with me” accumulates until the ol guilt bank is full and you withrawal from an empty emotional reserve.

Sounds like the dawning of mid-life for you.

So what is left? Hobbies, a touch-base lunch once in awhile, an email? I’m assuming your kids are young so I’ll break the bad news. The Kinsey Institute in Indiana recently has reported that having and raising children significantly lower your IQ. Since you have no one to consistently sharpen your mental saw, it’s little wonder you’re becoming the adult you feared as a kid.

Now, after I’ve rubbed salt in the wound, let me ask: Are friends really that important? Grow closer with your wife, raise your kids to be extraordinary adults, and make your family your ultimate friendship.

Someday, when your job is done, you can depend on some 90-year old Wilbur to be your friend and spend countless hours talking about Gout, dentures, and thge ultimate soft yogurt.

By: miranda elizabeth

miranda elizabeth — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 00:27:09 +0000

I’m in Columbus too - if you’re talking about Columbus, OH. I think your best bet given your interests would probably be to find other groups of people with similar solitary interests - IE a reading group or something. I had a hard time meeting people when I moved here last year… if I hadn’t met my fiance on nerve.com I probably wouldn’t have a social life or know anyone but my best friend. I mostly meet people through the boyfriend. Another suggestion would be to meet people through woodworking - say via meetup.com or something - or start a group for over-25 guys who like video games, that kind of thing.