Kids are cute. Especially around Halloween time when they dress up as Spiderman, or in some other fun costume. This year my son dressed up as Bob the Builder. But oddly, him dressing up as Bob the Builder for one day didn’t give him any inclination to actually fix anything around the house. There’s plenty to fix, too. There is a leak under my kitchen sink that I haven’t traced down yet, for example.

Is that a crazy notion? To think that if my son dresses up as Bob the Builder one day a year, he’ll have some urge to start fixing things?

That’s why I find it amazing that Christian Conservatives in Texas are suggesting that little boys and girls, switching social roles for a day as a joke, will be prompted to become homosexuals.

But that is exactly what happened at school in Spurger, Texas. One day a year, on “TWIRP Day” boys dressed up as girls and vice versa. TWIRP stands for “the woman is requested to pay.”

But a bible-thumpin’ twank by the name of Delana Davies, who does have two school-aged children, complained that the cross-dressing tradition promoted homosexuality. She went so far as to get the Liberty Legal Institute, a bible-thumpin’, right-wing Christian legal group to join her in her gay bashing crusade.

In a quote that falls under the category of, “not even I could make this stuff up,” Delana Davies said: “It might be fun today to dress up like a little girl — kids think it’s cute and things like that. And you start playing around with it and, like drugs, you do a little here and there (and) eventually it gets you.”

Speaking from experience, Delana?

“It is outrageous that a school in a small town in east Texas would encourage their 4-year-olds to be cross-dressers,” institute litigation director Hiram Sasser said.

He sought and obtained permission from the district for the Davies’s children to stay out of school for the day.

You know what I heard? I heard that washing your hands several times a day lowers the chance of you catching homosexuality. Because evidently that’s how it works. Or maybe an apple a day will keep homos away.

That is how the ignorant treat homosexuality, like it is a cold you can catch, or like peer pressure where a few too many drinks can lead to alcoholism.

I will resort back to my standard question: When did you choose to be straight? Clearly Delana Davies must have had a time when she chose what orientation to be. She weighted the options, and consulted the bible that told her it was a sin (along with it saying you can’t wear polyester.)

Or is that another crazy notion that she chose to be hetero? Or, she realized the “choice” was never made. She grew up attracted to men, as I grew up always being attracted to women. But yet, so many heterosexuals think gay people make a choice, as if one day they wake up, make a pro and con list about being hetero and homo, and decide it’s better to be gay.

So what about Spurger, Texas? How do they let their young kids have their fun dress up day, yet appease the morons who think that wearing pink will make you gay. They changed it to Camouflage Day.

Yeah, that’s better. Grow them boys up to kill Arabs.