What I am looking for is some car/portable audio stuff. Specifically, I need a gadget that will allow me to plugin a USB drive and then play the MP3s on that drive through my car stereo (or really any other device). So, it takes a USB plug as its input, decodes (and displays) the mp3 info, then outputs it through a regular mini-plug port.

Better than that would be a car audio head unit that would take the USB input directly. That would save me some hassle.

An Illinois Appeals Court ruled that a man can pursue a claim for emotional distress after a former lover allegedly performed oral sex on him, saved the sperm, used it to have a baby, and then filed a paternity lawsuit that resulted in an award of $800 per month.

The Court said, however, that the man can’t claim theft because the sperm were hers to keep. And why were the sperm hers to keep? Well, they were hers because after the woman received ‘delivery’ of his sperm, they were “a gift - an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee.” This means the woman was free to do whatever she wanted with the sperm because “there was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.”

After seeing four of the five movies up for Best Picture at the Oscars, I’m convinced “Million Dollar Baby” is the best of the bunch, with “Sideways” being a very close second. (Though on a sidenote, I’m certain Mr. Miyagi was a much better ‘trainer’ than Clint Eastwood. Paint the fence, Dirty Harry. Paint the fence!)

And while I’d love to see Don Cheadle win the golden statue for his performance in “Hotel Rwanda,” which was a heartbreaking movie that reminded me most Americans were busy watching O.J. while the genocide raged, Jamie Foxx winning wouldn’t be a disservice. His performance in “Ray” was quite good. However, I must admit–though it’s difficult, since I’ve always been a huge Ray Charles fan–that the movie as a whole was not the best of the year. In fact, I’m not even sure it was better than “Finding Neverland,” which starred a Johnny Depp who, in my humble opinion, turned in a better performance in “Pirates of the Caribbean.” (”Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.”)

As for some of the others, I’m guessing Morgan Freeman wins Best Support Actor, Scorsese finally wins Best Director (though he should’ve won a long time ago), Hilary Swank takes home the Best Actress honor, and Cate Blanchett takes home Best Supporting Actress (she did play Catherine Hepburn after all.) And if “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” doesn’t win for Best Original Screenplay, well, then something is just not right.

Maybe it’s the hormones in our meat, the depleting ozone, or that culprit we all know and love … crack. Whatever the cause, it seems people are getting more and more stupid. And while I’m no genius–seriously, I took a test and it said, “You are no genius”–I’m almost certain I could beat a large portion of our increasingly stupified society in a battle of wits.

For instance, I was watching the idiot box yesterday when a brain-dead zombie pops on-screen and flags down a cop in some shattered reality show. This doofus then proceeded to tell the officer that a woman to whom she’d given 20 dollars would not produce the crack she’d promised nor return the twenty. Then when the cop asked the alleged dealer about the incident, this neighborhood half-wit said something like, “I don’t deal drugs; I’m a hooker.” Cleared. That. Right. Up.

Consider the politician in Washington who wants to split the state in half because the two parties can’t seem to agree, which is, I thought, essentially the reason there are different political parties.

Are people really this stupid? Am I expecting too much? Or was I right when I told a friend that stupid people are too stupid to realize how stupid they are and even if by some implausible fluke they realized their stupidity, they’d be, of course, too stupid to do anything to rectify their stupidity. Who knows …

Doctor’s are now saying that giving kids juice is not good for them, even if it is 100% juice, and not that concentrated or powdered “Juice” that we all called Cool-Aid when we were growing up.

Here is what I find troubling, and as a parent, I see this often. I take my kid to soccer practice so he can get some good exercise and learn the value of team sports. He’s having great fun on the field with his friends, playing the type of soccer that 4-year olds play which is basically kicking the ball and falling on the ground to make each other laugh.

While I’m watching my son do his best Charlie Brown on a soccer ball, while listening to other parents on the sidelines talk about this new juice recommendation by doctors. One of the mothers’ proclaimed how since that report, they have been trying to limit their son’s juice intake. Then I watched in near horror as her son ran off the field, run up to her, and asked for some candy. She stuck her hand in her pocket, pulled out a piece of candy and the kid jammed it in his mouth as he ran back on the field.

WTF?

This is what bothers me about some parents, and to some extent, dieters. They seize upon a single piece of information and carry it out in absence of well-rounded logic. Doctor’s say to limit the amount of juice you give your kids to 4 ounces a day, yet the same parents who seize on that do not notice how many hours of TV (or Playstation 2) their kids watch as a substitute for quality time.

In my department, there are 14 women and 2 guys. The women complain to no end about their weight and discuss as length about how eating this particular food or not eating another specific type of food will “shed pounds.” Then I watched in amusement when one of our clients sent a treat basket over the holidays and these “dieters” attacked it like a pack of ravenous raptors. And the diet conversation continued as they jammed Double-Stuff Oreo’s in their pie-holes.

My kids will still get 100% juice, and it will be more than 4 ounces, even if the doctor’s say to be careful. But guess what? I play with my kids outside. They don’t eat candy or drink soda.

This does make me wonder. How many parents will limit juice, yet let soda consumption go unfettered?

I recently applied to and was accepted into the graduate program at the Breadloaf School of English at Middlebury College. I am specifically headed to the Oxford campus in London this summer.

At any rate, this is a very short story I used as a writing sample for my application. Your critiques are appreciated.

(more…)

We have all faced it. Spyware on our PCs is getting to be a bigger problem each day as the heathen’s that live in the underbelly of the internet search for new ways to steal our personal information.

Earthlink just released stats saying that scans of its user’s computers revealed that average user had multiple “spyware installations” – 28 per computer on average.

That’s interesting, and not because it shows the extent and reach of spyware. If Earthlink was scanning their customer’s computers for spyware (even if it was trying to help them remove them) and recording that information and sending it back to Earthlink, doesn’t that qualify as spyware, also?

In case you missed it, last year the Department of State released its annual Trafficking in Persons report. Though often limited to episodes of “Law and Order” and the occasional report on an American who travels abroad to ‘tour’ child sex slaves, human trafficking and slavery is relatively common.

Across the United States alone, more than 10,000 people are forced to work against their will. According to a report by Free The Slaves, a Washington, D.C-based organization, and the Human Rights Center at the University of California at Berkeley, modern day slavery is concentrated in large cities and on farms, usually in sex trades, agriculture, or domestic service jobs. Despite the enacting of the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act of 2000, human trafficking crimes continue to increase. In fact, it’s now a $9 billion a year global industry.

Amazingly Troublesome
“My budget substantially reduces or eliminates more than 150 government programs that are not getting results, or duplicate current efforts, or do not fulfill essential priorities.”

Amazingly Ridiculous
“Tonight I propose a three-year initiative to help organizations keep young people out of gangs … and I am proud that the leader of this nationwide effort will be our First Lady, Laura Bush.”

Amazingly Hypocritical
“Soon I will send to Congress a proposal to fund special training for defense counsel in capital cases, because people on trial for their lives must have competent lawyers by their side.”

- George W. Bush, State of the Union Address, February 2, 2005