Maybe it’s the hormones in our meat, the depleting ozone, or that culprit we all know and love … crack. Whatever the cause, it seems people are getting more and more stupid. And while I’m no genius–seriously, I took a test and it said, “You are no genius”–I’m almost certain I could beat a large portion of our increasingly stupified society in a battle of wits.

For instance, I was watching the idiot box yesterday when a brain-dead zombie pops on-screen and flags down a cop in some shattered reality show. This doofus then proceeded to tell the officer that a woman to whom she’d given 20 dollars would not produce the crack she’d promised nor return the twenty. Then when the cop asked the alleged dealer about the incident, this neighborhood half-wit said something like, “I don’t deal drugs; I’m a hooker.” Cleared. That. Right. Up.

Consider the politician in Washington who wants to split the state in half because the two parties can’t seem to agree, which is, I thought, essentially the reason there are different political parties.

Are people really this stupid? Am I expecting too much? Or was I right when I told a friend that stupid people are too stupid to realize how stupid they are and even if by some implausible fluke they realized their stupidity, they’d be, of course, too stupid to do anything to rectify their stupidity. Who knows …