The next person who compares anything to something done by the Nazis unless it was actually something done by the Nazis should be kicked in the neck. Why? Because, in general, the thing being compared to the Nazis or something they did isn’t even close in its heinous nature. In fact, it’s usually so far from being a remotely accurate simile that it’s insulting to anyone with more brain cells than a single-celled organism–or the president.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” and thought “that person is full of crap”? There isn’t much I wouldn’t miss if someone offered me the world. In fact, if God called me tomorrow and said, “If you miss work today, I’ll give you the world,” you can be fairly certain I’m calling in sick. Of course, since I have the world, I wouldn’t really have to call in sick. Who’s going to fire the man who has the world?

With Ricky Williams’ return to pro football last night amid the requisite talk show lashings, I wondered what’s worse: an athlete who can’t play with the team because he or she gets suspended for taking steroids or an athlete who, at the last minute, simply decides he or she doesn’t want to play with the team?