It’s spring here in Ohio and we are starting to come out of our last winter rains and finally seeing the sunlight. It gets me thinking about bike riding again.

Thanks to my Plantar Fasciitis, running is no longer an option and biking has become my means of keeping the lard off my ass.

My bike is a monster. I purchased it at Target. It weights as much as a bus and its bright red. It’s as visible as Cher at the Grammy’s.

When I ride, I wear cargo shorts, an old Star Wars t-shirt, and a bike helmet that so completely does not match the color of my bike, that it could only be worse if I wore a dirty bucket on my head.

Serious bikers scoff at all of this, of course.

They have the pro bikes that weight 10 pounds. They wear spandex to minimize wind resistance and have helmet the same color as their bike. Some guys even shave their legs, again, to minimize wind resistance. Occasionally, you’ll see a guy boldly wearing a yellow spandex riding shirt, as if he was winning the Tour de France, or some sort of tour that hits my neighborhood every Saturday morning.

Here’s my question: If these ultra-serious bike riders are trying so hard to take the work out of riding, then why don’t they just drive? I bet 10-1 odds that I get better exercise, whereas they get… what? Seen?

So maybe I’m bored. So what…

I goof of a bit when I have some downtime. Big deal.

Then sometimes I cross something cool. Like today when I was messing around with Google Maps.

Look at this link. If you look at the square right in the middle, it looks very much like an iPod.

Sure, it’s like seeing shapes in clouds, but you had to admit that’s pretty darn close.

What do you call a man with his hand up a horses ass?

An Amish mechanic.

Rather than bore you with yet another review of “V for Vendetta,” I instead ask a question. In one of the many commentaries discussing the Wachoski Brothers’ new film, a reviewer wrote “V for Vendetta … has no trouble getting people to think, but it’s far less successful at getting them to feel.” Regardless of whether you’ve seen the movie and your feelings about it, isn’t thinking quite often more important than feeling, particularly in the areas of life, freedom, and the protection of both?

From the world of time wasters that don’t make a bit of sense: The Silly Walks Generator, which is a site created for Monty Python’s Personal Best DVD. Choose a character and a background, then create a variety of strange walking positions and wait for the comic hilarity to begin. If it doesn’t, don’t worry. It’s really not all that amusing. Two to three minutes top worth of wasted time.

If you haven’t yet seen this “real-live” Simpsons video, or the the full theatrical trailer for X-3: The Last Stand, where the heck have you been?

And finally, take a moment to view Forbes’ list of all the folks who are richer than you and me combined. At least until my plan to finally get everyone those damn hovercrafts comes together.

Can someone that smokes be pro-life?

They believe a fetus is living and want to protect it at all costs, but after it’s born, they support shortening that life?

Interesting.

Technorati Tags: smoking, prolife, abortion

I cannot take anymore of Bush’s bullshit. Yes, I should be more eloquent. I should choose my words more carefully so that I might reach more of you “in the back” as opposed to screaming at the converted. However, the bile in my gut simply allows me to do nothing but scream at the lying insanity of the Bush administration.

With Bush being caught lying again, this time about the levees in New Orleans, it’s good news that Lewis H. Lapham is finally calling for his impeachment in this month’s “Harper’s.” Sure, others online have been saying this for a while, but this is the first more or less mainstream publication to come out and scream for his dismissal.

We tried to impeach Clinton for getting a blowjob and not wanting to tell us about it, but here we have a president who has lied about WMD, terrorism, war, natural disasters, shootings, and who knows what else. He simply cannot be trusted. He is ruining this country. It will take us decades to fix the devastation he has wrought to our place in the geopolitical schema.

We have given full control of our country to a megalomaniacal dumbass who doesn’t even have the charisma to pull off a wedding toast. This man and those around him are poison.

Technorati Tags: bush, politics, katrina, levees, new orleans