The Chinese government has fired twelve officials for dereliction of duty and misuse of supplies following the May Sichuan earthquake. How many United States government officials were sacked after their disastrous handling of Hurricane Katrina, a much smaller natural phenomenon?

On July 11, I plan on being one of the Llama’s in line to get a new iPhone 3G. Yep, I’m gonna do it.

I was interested in a few facts about the new iPhone, including that you will now have to activate your phone in the store before you leave. With the previous model, you picked up the phone and out the door you went, activating it the next time you plugged it into iTunes. It’ll make that line take that much longer.

But that’s beside the point.

Over the weekend I was looking for the additional back that came with my Samsung Blackjack. It comes with a smaller, thinner back, and a larger back to handle the larger battery. I couldn’t find the thinner back. Then a thought crossed my mind, “it doesn’t matter, in two weeks I’ll have a new iPhone.”

Later that same day, I dropped my phone when I was getting out of my Jeep. As it hit the pavement, I watched the battery spring out like a jack-in-the-box. Before I could freak out, I thought, “it doesn’t matter, in two weeks I’ll have a new iPhone.”

Then it dawned on me: I wonder how much carnage I can put my Samsung Blackjack through before I get my new iPhone, and it still work?

Game on.

This morning, I tried my first test: Down the stairs like a slinky. Result, nary a scratch. Again, the battery did a Greg Louganis (Wikipedia it, kids) across the floor, but it didn’t seem to inflict any damage.

Any suggestions on what I can do to my phone in the meantime? Here are the only rules, it must be something that could actually happen to a cellphone in real life. Because, clearly, I could smack it with a hammer or toss it off the roof of my house to kill it. I’m talking actual mis-haps, here.

Suggest away. I’ll try em all.

‘Hurl’ is the latest ‘reality’ TV program that has commentators in a tizzy. But I’m a bit confused about this misplaced outrage. While it’s possibly the most puerile and physically disgusting reality show to hit the airwaves, it’s not as destructive as the litany of programs imploring viewers to marvel and snicker at much deeper anguish.

Certainly it is more damaging to encourage wanna-be stars and attention whores to lie and cheat their way to a new mate or massive bankroll than it is to drive these same people to puke. The latter experience is mildly embarrassing and could serve as an interesting story at a party someday. The former, however, not only damages viewers’ expectations of relationships and life, it also creates long term misgivings about the participants’ character.

In the end, who would you trust more: the woman who threw up after drinking a half-gallon of milk and being spun in circles or the man who created an alliance, feigned loyalty, hurt several faux friends, and ended up being removed from of a house lies?

Just about two years ago, this post summed up my thoughts on the Top Ten Television Series of All Time. After reviewing the comments and considering entertainment value, as well as overall historical and cultural impact, I’ve decided to revise the list (presented in alphabetical order):

Cheers
The Cosby Show
E.R.
I Love Lucy
Lost
M.A.S.H.
Sanford and Son
The Simpsons
Star Trek
The West Wing